Summer This, Summer That...

     A day off.  Lovely.  I planned on starting by sleeping in.  The sun, my tangled sheets, and my stupid pillow had other plans.  7:00am...wide awake.  Can I just say that there is nothing more unsatisfying than waking up before your alarm and having ample time to turn off  three pre-set alarms.  Strike One for the day.
     Fine.  Whatever.  I'll get up.  Shower...and because I was up so early, there was time for a small concert series.  This was nice:)  Getting dressed today was no walk in the park either.  It should have been a comfy t-shirt day...but it was not.  Mostly because I am not really a comfy t-shirt sort-of-girl.  I'd like to be...but I haven't gotten there yet.  I tried on my whole closet...twice.  Instead of sleeping in tangled sheets tonight, I'll be using a pullover for a pillow, and a blanket made out of draped tank tops.  I finally settled on jeans and a ruffled tank...which I later regretted, as I was walking through the mall with my bosses baby, and my strapless bra on display...she felt my shirt served better purpose as a toy! Ehhh, Strike Two.
     I was walking past Abercrombie & Fitch...and honestly, the cologne billowing from the stores entrance was almost unbearable, that and the fact that I was probably going to be the only person over the age of seventeen, but I'm an adventurous girl, so I ventured in anyway.  I circled one rack...laughed at my presence in the store, and left.  There is just something not super appealing about wearing a shirt that says 'Who Needs Brains When You Have These...'  At seventeen I might of laughed and considered...at twenty-three, I still laugh... but seriously Abercrombie?  I was offered a job at an Abercrombie once, and at the time I was certain it was going to be my leap into the fashion circuit.  Of course I would have started as a cashier, maybe a greeter...and then I'd likely make my move to Model/Official Spokesperson(this is where I'd put the 'I'm kidding, haha'...except that at 15, I thought I was being discovered.)  In hindsight, it could have been that I was most likely wearing their clothes head to toe.  But I'm sure I flattered myself into thinking that they wanted me to work their because of my great fashion sense and gracious people skills...
     I think strike three came when I was trying to put  baby to sleep.  Mainly because as I was pushing baby through the mall, I could feel the glares and quick glances at my ring-less left finger.  I cut my losses here, smiled, and said 'Come on love, let's go find Daddy', and resorted to rocking baby inside the store, while her mom shopped some.
  Revelation of the day:  I could most definitely be content with a career as a nanny.  A calling of sorts...  So much fun, and I don't even get paid to play with this little one.
     What I love about summer is that despite the repetitive school...work...school...work schedule, is that it is still summer, and I can't be anything but content with where I am at.  Life is good, healthy, and full of lovely people.
xoxo a

For A Young Girl Of Twenty Three...I'm Quite Opptimistic You See...

     It's officially the first day of summer. Which really has no real relevance to my life as I've been out of school for a month and a half now...oh, except that I started summer school three weeks ago...so summer...ehh? No real comprehension of the actual meaning of the word. But anyhow...being that swimsuit days are imminent since I've been wearing one for the better part of a month...I decided tonight was the night I jump start my 'I'm Going To Look Like A Victoria Secret Model...Even If I Have To Stop Eating...Forever...Diet' diet plan. One Problem: I have no will power when it comes to working out...and I have an addiction to Diet Coke. Today though, given the day...I made a compromise...I spent an extra dollar on my 12-pack and bought Diet Coke plus Vitamins and Minerals! Who knew?! I also went for a jog...and my thought process went a little something like this...

Five Minutes In: "Alright! This isn't so bad...you've got this!..."
...music up please! Born and raised in the U.S.A...by the way of New Orleans...
(this was me opptimistically singing Lil Wayne becuase I was still feeling AWESOME!)

     Seven Minutes In: And I'm over it. My Ipod keeps falling out of my sports bra (only legit runners have cool armbands...I'm far from legit as you will see)...I'm getting tangled in my headphones...with every step that I run...my Ipod thinks this is a fun way to shuffle all that I am trying to listen too...I do not.

     Ten Minutes In: Run to the stop sign...Run to the stop sign!" Cool down lap! except that I see headlights up ahead..."And we're jogging again..." No worries. I am that runner... I have no shame. I'm oddly faster and more coordinated in the presence of other people or random passing cars. Uh huh, cool, I know.

     Twenty Minutes In...I think: (my vision was blurred I'm sure..;)
"Amber...you have to keep going...it's 10:30...at night. No one will find you until the morning if you die here..."

Conclusion: I still hate running...

So, all in all...I am a work in progress! Did I mention that I've def. been scoping out a five mile course I came up with few days ago? Clearly I'm going to be working my way up to that it seems.

Not Signing Up For Any 10k's Soon,
xoxo a

Questions I'll Die Trying To Answer.chapter six.

      There was once a time when I idolized this movie.  And by idolized, I mean, I wished, I longed, I believed that I could have been cast in Kate Hudson's place.  Little does Hollywood know...their next big star resides here in the great state of Texas.  Witty, single, twenty-something?  Romantic Comedy? I  mean please, I'd call that more of an autobiographical piece.   Okay, Okay, just kidding.  I'm pretty sure that any girl under the age of thirty would agree that there is a way to parallel every song we sing, every movie we see, ...to our lives in some way.  And yes, I say parallel in hopes that I'm not the only one, although  I'm really probably pretending that my life is totally the same thoroughout the whole movie.  Songs on the other hand...I dont know how, but someone out there is shopping my life story to various artists, and they are choosing to use me and my daily encounters as inspiration for material.  Its really very flattering.  So today I was going through some of my playlists, specifically,  'Soundtrack To My Life' and 'Everyone's In Love But Me...', and it sparked my current epihany!  Well, that and an honest, eye opening, 'I am not crazy, am I?' conversation with a friend...
I AM NOT TOO PICKY . How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days...you're not helping me.  How am I supposed to lose a guy in ten days, if I can't even find one that is open to any emotional attatchment?  Anything other than a proper face to face conversation does not qualify as one on one time...a text is not the same as a phone call...and I know it is all about the chase...and you have to keep up some sort of hard exterior, but could you chase me a little to keep it even?  I
Not to mention that ten days is a freaking world record in terms of losing a guy...any mention of a possible commitment, and all bets are off.    I know your judgements are already forming...but hold off for a sec.  I will fully admit to my own commitment issues.  And although, I think I am painfully obvious in shedding light on my attraction to you...the truth is, I am not.  That half smile I just gave you...yeah, that was me telling you I am in love, oh, and I have been.  In my eyes, this past six months of texting banter...a full blown relationship;)  You feel the same way right?  So later, when I'm upset, it's because I'm really hearbroken you didnt understand that's what this was...haha.  For loving writing as I do, I am terrible at verbally expressing how I feel, so I'm just going to need you to go ahead and figure me out.  Mkay? Thanks.  I also don't think most guys are willing to put in any effort beyond that to see what could develop, and honestly I don't know that I blame them.:)   Or perhaps it's just most guys I am attracted to.  In which case, I say...lame. lame. lame.  So, Reason # 894 I am,  and continue to be very, VERY, single.  That, and probably this blog, if I am being completely honest...
much love,
a

And So It Is...

     I am the most un-coordinated you will find, I've known for awhile.  But today I felt the need to put it on display for oh...everyone.  Trip on my way to class.  Check.  So naturally, when I finally arrived to class late, and with all of my hair blown in front of my face thanks to this 'Are we in Chicago...no, still Texas' weather...I thought it would be a good idea to put my bag next to my chair instead of behind it as usual.  Not so my friends.  Not so.  Fast forward to a 36-slide powerpoint (that my professor decided to 'just read') later...and I stepped on it, wrapped my leg in a strap, and had one of those slow motion, there's nothing I can do now, I hate my life, this is sooooo embarrassing, hi, yes, I am falling right now, catch me?' moments.  Ugh.

Dear week, it's Tuesday.  Not Monday, Not Friday the 13th, just Tuesday.  Get with it already, okay?  So I sat there for another 45 minutes after that, probably bright red, but mostly just worried that I also stepped on my Iphone in my stupid bag.  Stupid bag? yes.  Stupid bag that broke my phone?  Not today, and thank goodness!  It has not been a good few weeks, although, I am totally still loving my rental car!  Getting in the wreck...sucked...and it was scary.  I find myself increasingly aware of stupid driver's now...almost too aware.  I kind of feel the need to write down all license plates, so when they just drive away after hitting me...I'll have them.  Not to mention that anything over 70 in the fast lane...not acceptable anymore.  I know, uncharacteristic for my race car like driving ways...but after spinning out five times, on the free way, with cars driving at me....suddenly, despite it not being my fault...its just not worth it.  Stepping off my soap box....now.
So I have the most awesome job ever!  What did I do today?
Oh...just created some life size Alice in Wonderland playing cards.  No big deal.  Mind you, I'm currently not certified, and therefore cannot be paid for this job...but who cares!  It's way too awesome to care!:)

Devin...(who is super quiet and rarely speaks) walked into class and after seeing this:

Exclaimed this: "Miss Henley you are so crative!( I'm assuming this is his version of the word 'creative')  This is just like the book...you are very efficient!"


Funny that he couldn't say the word creative right, but efficient...no worries.  LOVE it!   So, all in all...Wednesday was a good day!  I got to craft all morning...in heels though...bad idea.  But the finished product was a hit!  Let me tell you, these kids do not miss a beat, and after loving this little number, they also quickly began to notice all that was un-finished with all of my other 'playing card gaurds' that were hanging around the room.  "He doesnt have any hands or feet yet...."  "That one needs a head..."  Fun times.
     Easter weekend was awesome!  Pictures to come:)  I may be 23, but my Dad definitely sent me on a scavenger hunt through the house for clues to a huge prize!:)  There was a $1 bill in each egg!  So I went home with $10...and....wait for it.....$50 to one of my favorite stores! Super cute, super fun!  Always thinking that Dad of mine!  My favorite clue?

'When you are hungry and need something to eat, look inside this for some lunch...______'  haha, so clever too.

     What a weekend it has been.  I am exhausted, which is why I've decided to forgo all class related activities for the evening and just relax.  We had our benefit garage sale, and it was so amazing!  We raised about $2300 for our friends Dad.  Super awesome!

This is my friend Kristen...

She likes fire trucks...what can I say. ;) Love you Kk!

I fell asleep today...at 5:00 this afternoon...and if it didnt sound like my neighbors were building a spaceship in their backyard...maybe two....I probably could have called it a night.  So now I'm off to work to finish payroll for my boss...and then I plan on hanging out with my new bff Aubrey...

CUTEST. BABY. EVER.

Much Love, 
xoxo a

     

All A Blur...

      It's been a good week, but thank God it is over.  Well, almost over.  Last week I was taking naps outside, and just enjoying it all!  Fast forward to this week, and  my procrastinating ways are finally catching up with me, and I find that it is becoming increasingly difficult to procrastinate as I want to all while maintaining the amount of sleep  I want to.  My family probably thinks Im getting mono, I have no energy by the time I get home.  Kindergartners wear you out!  But seriously, so entertaining!  Today, Abigail asked me "Whose Mommy I was?"  I'm still trying to decide how I want to take that.  Complimentary that she could see me as someone's Mommy, or sad that she thinks I look like someone's Mommy.  I'm just going to assume that it's default stereotyping as at five I would also assume anyone taller than four feet was a parent too.  I am convinced that she is going to go into fashion, as she is fascinated will everything I wear.  "Ms. Henley...I love your hair!"  And she already goes for the bargain, which is good to learn early!  You can escape the credit card debt later on..."I love that bracelet! (note: she is probably in the process of taking it off my wrist as she tells me this) I'm going to have it, okay?"  The boys are fun too.   Jude spends all day telling me, "Shouting Courtesy Isn't Showing Courtesy!" and while they aren't shy about letting me know when they aren't happy...(like when I put Oscar's chair up for him...bad idea) they hug me in random passing, and they light up when I walk in the room.  I love them!
   Work has been rather slow...except for today.  PSA for all you pet owners...if you are going to have skiddish dogs, and leave them at home alone...

1. Get an adequate fence so I dont have to interrupt 'Shadow' and 'Peanut's' adventure through the neighborhood.

2.  If you are going to leave them at home to embark on adventures of these sorts...put tags on their collars so I can call you and tell you I have them.

  To the man whose yard I returned said pets too...if they arent yours, I am sorry.  They acted as if your yard was 'home'. 
     This week I also discovered that I have a problem.   I can justify anything.  You name it, and I'll come up with a pretty legitimate reason as to why I need it, want it, bought it...or didnt do it.  Everytime.  Case in point:  my guitar.  I begged, pleaded, hinted....as to why I HAD to have one.  Rising singer/songwriter was not reason enough for my parents...sheesh...what do they know?(I have quite a collection of songs I've penned over the years, and if youre lucky...and I've had some red wine, I might even sing one to you)  To my parents I was somehow convincing nonetheless, and...five years later it is still sitting in the corner of my room, with a broken string.  Sadly,  the broken string isnt even my doing.  So there it sits, except when on rare occasion I feel the urge to convincingly strum along, usually while something else is playing in the background, as my playing seems to sound so much nicer in the company of other instruments.  All this, and you think I would accept defeat?  No no.  I may have spent an undisclosed amount of time on the computer today convincing myself that I needed a new, much fancier, RED GUITAR!  If that doesnt say 'Rockstar'....well then, I just dont know what does.

       Tip of the Week:  Ray Lamontagne's 'Trouble' as a song starter on Pandora is sweet sweet bliss for the soul...just saying.

       

And It Went A Little Something Like This...Questions I'll Die Trying To Answer.chapter five.

Humble Humility:  The Kind Where Just A Little Is Enough

 

     Judging by my life's events, you would think that humility was a passion of mine. A passion it seems, but not one I am purposely seeking. Walking up stairs is a task I still haven't mastered, and all those times I went strutting through the grocery store, only to get back to my car with one earring...or something in my teeth. Humble Humility at it's best! We go through this life day by day, the best we can. Doing what we think is right, but never fully knowing if the decisions we are making are good...or good for the moment. Sometimes, it is all I can do to just decide something, just for the sake of making a decision and moving on. Getting dressed in the morning alone is a task. And for what? So all the cute guys at school who aren't noticing me can not notice me AND my well thought out outfit? I mean can you honestly remember what someone else was wearing just the day before? I am lucky if I can remember what I was wearing two hours ago. My only saving grace most days is my tendency to fall out of my daily outfits as I'm falling into bed for the night. It really is a great system. There is no tricky 'Is this clean?' head game in the morning, because it is always nicely piled right there on the floor. Don't worry, this is not going to be a chapter on how I get ready in the morning, moving on...now. The lessons we learn on a daily basis, are typically hard to understand and at times, even hard to acknowledge. However, it's something you take in stride. Something you should make reasons not to forget...because as I've learned, God will bend you in a way that is far more embarrassing, than if you had just been a little more self-aware in the first place. A way of humbly reminding you.  Case in point:  Not only am I the most un-coordinated you will find, but I also am becoming more increasingly aware of my tendency to love all that is un-cool. A self-proclaimed dork, and maybe just maybe...ready to own it.    All that being said, I look back and it's no wonder embarrassing things keep happening. It's embarrassing that I get dressed up to go grocery shopping. It's embarrassing that until now, I've cared so greatly about such minimal things. I'm going to say that 2009 has been a jam packed year of life lessons. I've done more living in my twenty-three years then most will ever have the chance to do. I've learned lessons that some are lucky to have not had the chance to learn. But I'm grateful. I've learned things some don't grasp until they are well past a time when those lessons might have been helpful, perhaps when it is too late...

Humbly humiliated? Yes. But, forever changed? I can only hope.

Humility has a humorous and sometimes cruel way of reminding us of all that we should remember in our daily encounters with others. A few I've found most recently...

1. That we arent as cool as we think we are.

2. There will always be someone more beautiful or handsome.

3. Someone always has it harder than we do.

4. Not having your Starbuck's in the morning is not a tragedy. Not having somewhere to sleep at night is.

5. You don't have to be in love to give love.

6. Life is so much easier when you don't beat yourself up for someone else's "idea" of the kind of person you are.

7. What your family thinks about the way you live your life...the best reference to go by.

8. Feeling good about the character you possess...so much better than feeling bad. So you should probably do things that make your character known to others in a positive way.

9. Nothing beats being happy.

10. It's much easier to let someone in, when the door isn't closed. But, if it must be closed, shut it lightly. Treat people kindly. Hopefully, when you do finally open the door, they are there, waiting with open arms.

11. Hard times are hard, but you're experience can make it softer for someone later on.

12. No matter what choices you make in life, good or bad...Good people will be there to dry your tears or give you congragulatory hugs. If you havent been shown this love before, be that love for someone else.

13. Good friends are hard to come by. If you find some, let them know what they mean to you and hope they feel the same.

14. Life Is Beautiful.

15. As a last resort, ice cream, comfy blankets, candles, and Sandra Bullock movies are still a popular remedy for a close to a hard day. You may go to sleep crying and with a stomach ache...but when you wake up, the sun will be shining once again.

Much Love,

a

Really Sir? Really?

So let's talk about my weekend...and GO!
Disclaimer: Mom, I already took care of it...and the Insurance...bc I know that is your next question, I have a plan for that too! So...I love you, and Sorry, and I love you?! xo (You should probably look at this picture and remember I'm your favorite before you call me mad):)

I got ANOTHER speeding ticket. Ugh. I mean, I don't even know if I can be mad. I only learn lessons the hard way, that is for sure! I will say, for all the lesson learning I am doing, it's about time for some fun lessons.
Like for example...
closing out my bank account and going to Las Vegas...a fun lesson to be learned.
serial dating, dream worthy date...on a night I should be doing papers...a fun lesson to be learned.
eating ice cream for breakfast....lunch...and dinner...a fun lesson to be learned.
Where I used to be charming and friendly, I find myself just bitter and annoyed with the officers pulling me over. First of all, can we remind ourselves of my 5'6 frame, and Miley Cyrus playing on the radio? Not exactly threatening, so if you could refrain from using your CB radio announcer here in this empty parking lot...I bet I'll still be able to hear you if you would just get out of your car and walk up to my window. Mkay Thanks.
Secondly, although I am sure you are a very nice man, you are about to kindly tell me I am going to be $200.00 more poor...so we can probably just skip this small talk...I don't think you really care to know 'what kind of line of work' I am in, and suddenly I am not in the mood for sharing. The Tx State window sticker is a good indicator...Occupation: 5 minutes ago...Student. Now that we've met: Really Poor Student.
So it seems my days of race car driving are over... Tonight I pretended my little two door cobalt was a Buick and I was a feeble 70 year old woman, all the way home. Slow lane, not so bad...and cruise control...my new 'life tool'.

Now, let's rewind back to Thursday night. Dinner with Donnie, Kane, and my two favorite Ashley's. Good times all around! Ended the evening @ Clayton's...before he went off for an Architecture presentation. A quiet drive home, and my good friend Amos Lee sang me to sleep. What would this world be without I-tunes? Sad, sad, sad.
Friday night I went to Homecoming at my high school. I haven't been back in a few years, and I'm going to say, for the first time I didn't wish I was still in high school!:) Success! haha. Adult life is finally more fun, minus the responsibility...but I can deal.
Saturday was Jessica's funeral. Obviously sad. It's so crazy to sit there and really realize she is not here anymore. I think for me, most of my pain comes for Elysia. I can only imagine what she is going through, and I can really sympathize because in February when Ash was diagnosed, it was a possibility that I could at some point go through the same thing. My world would be over. Ash is my everything. It's not something I could ever prepare for or understand. I think her parent's put it so perfectly to say that Jess is now free from a body that held her captive. She really can be so close to us all now, and she is free and able to live as she used to.
Saturday night was Breezy's Sweet 16. Crazy. She is my exact opposite, and anything girly...not even remotely exciting for her. So you can imagine her annoyance when two hours before her party, I asked her if she wanted me to pick out an outfit for her...and where I should set up my 'Sweet 16 Hair/Makeup' Station? haha, I lost. but she looked oh so cute dancing with her friends, and we had a good time for sure.

Much Love Always,
a