Just When I Thought It Couldn't Get Worse...It Gets Better!

So the holidays are coming to a close, and I am really kind of upset about it all. I have had a lot of time off recently, which is always cause for some soul searching and self reflection for me. Now, I do this on a daily basis....analyze my life and where I am at...and well, things are looking up! For now anyway. I have been anxiously avoiding looking up my grades for the past month bc I have been so nervous! When I say I am a procrastinator...it is most def. an extreme understatement! I also love to focus on the positive, and by focus I mean totally avoiding any aspect of negativity at all costs! I really have not been able to fathom the idea of another disappointing semester, so I just completely shut it out of mind. I pretty much had to make a certain GPA this semester in order to register for next semester...blah blah blah! Well seeing as classes start in a week or so..I decided to be a big girl and just check them. I DID IT! I am officially back on track, and taking classes that actually pertain to my career choice. I cant even begin to explain the weight that has been lifted. I really don't think I could have handled being a loser for yet another semester! I have seriously been thinking about where I could move when my life falls apart, bc that is what it has felt like! For the past two years, I have just been stuck in this crazy place, and I really have felt like I was running out of options! And please don't take that comment wrong, bc I know school isn't for everyone...those of you not going, I envy you. I really do. I envy the ability to stand up and say, this is a better plan for me. I envy that you have such faith that you can pursue your dreams freely and openly! I wish I had the courage, but right now, I'm not there...so school is my only option! I have a million dreams I want to embark on, but I can't do it until I know I have satisfied my parent's dream for me...a college education. I have been trying to play catch up for three semesters now, and it's been really hard emotionally. Thank God my parents have been supportive, but I still feel like a disappointment to them. Financially, I am not equipped to pay for school myself, and so that has been weighing on my heart a lot. Graduation is no longer an idea, but a reality that is in the sort of near future..(about a year). Whew...I feel like I can breathe again! So this past few weeks has been amazing for the most part, despite one sucky situation...but one I can't do a lot about...so I'm putting it out of mind for now. All of my friends are home from school, and I love them...A LOT, so seeing everyone has been amazing! I am playing with the idea of finding a new job...as one of the current ones...not so great. I am actually kind of excited! It has needed to happen for a very long time now, and I am finally ready to be selfish. I don't really know what I am going to do in terms of employment right now....this is actually going to force me to budget~ YIKES! I know it is all in Gods hands, and so I'm really not trying to stress too hard. So now that you are mildly updated on the crazy life that I lead....I LOVE YOU ALL! Thank you for your comments, as you really have no idea how they help me through!:)
xoxo a