Battle Within Myself

Isn't it funny how when things in your life are good, they are so good...but when they are bad, just getting out of bed is difficult! Twenty one years, and I am just beginning to feel the need to be selfish. I have huge issues with guilt and responsibility. Ive had two jobs since I was fifteen years old, and yet I feel guilty when I need a break! I live my life as though I have kids to pay for or something. Everything has come to a head all in the past two months, and things have gotten really rough! I hate that I feel like I need to making everyone else's life easier, even if I am terribly unhappy. I can't stand confrontation, and therefore get walked on a lot. I always tell myself that I do these things because by me helping, I am somehow making there lives easier and enriching mine. I think I am just easily manipulated. I dont know how to stand up for myself, and I obviously dont feel as though my happiness is worth it. Im ready to be selfish. I want to make time to figure out my OWN life. If there was ever a time in my life to be selfish, these are the years right? Don't tell me, "You are so good here!", I hear "You can't leave, you NEED to be here." Dont say "Amber, you have worked really hard since you were fifteen!"...I hear "Why are you quitting now, you are more responsible than that".



Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

-Benjamin Disraeli