Merry Christmas Friends...LoVe YoU...A lOt~

Now I am sure you are all sick of hearing it, but can I just say how wonderful life is?!?! I always think how different my life would be had my parents not gotten divorced,and i actually grew up in California! I really can't imagine it! It's kind of crazy! I'm pretty sure I would basically be the same Amber, kind of free spirited and creative....although I have to say, I think if I lived/grew up in California, I might have a slightly more exciting life...bc I love California, and it is amazing! However, I have met the most amazing people here in Texas! I love love love them so much! And therefore I think it is necessary to dedicate this post to that which I think makes my life so so so sweet! My Friends!
Ash: I mean, despite the fact that we literally have the same DNA, you are the most awesome girl I know! I love that I can just look at you and I know we are thinking the same thing! You are too much fun, and I couldnt imagine living with anyone else for the last 21 years!
Elysia: you are way too fun! Who could have guessed that one awkward picture would lead to such an awesome friendship! If I knew such great things would come, Im pretty sure I would ask to take an awkward picture with every person I thought might be as amazingly awesome as you!
Mollie: I love love love you! You always laugh at my silly jokes, and yes, I do say stupid things, but you always understand! I love it, and most of all I love you!
Brit: You have def. been the best roomate ever! I love how just watching T.V. together seriously may have been the highlight of a week that otherwise may have been terrible! I cant wait for the wedding, Clay is so awesome, and I totally approve..but you knew that!
Kristen: I mean, basically as a cd giving friend...well I suck...but you don't hold that against me... and well that is what real friends are made of right?! Plus you laugh at me too, and you are just fun...so that is enough for me!
Christina: You share my philosophy on credit cards...well probably not to the same extreme, but I know you will always be up for shopping with me, and when everyone else is telling me how irresponsible I am, I know I can count on you! Which is good!
Arch: I mean despite the fact that you are awesome, and fun, and cook the best fajitas EVER, you always make haning out fun! And it has to be said, no one would be as patient with my running in circles while playing Halo...so THANKS!
Chris and Sabrina: Now I know we dont see eachother like....Ever...but when we do.,..AMAZINGLY fuN! Can I just say, that I may say funny words in the wrong order sometimes...but lets be honest...that happens on a regular basis...even when mexican martini's are not involved...so dont judge!:) Also, Im pretty sure I would not let anyone else in my house when it is that dirty....ever! So you really should feel special.
Jordan: Are there words...this I'm not sure! I love you...and I'm pretty sure we have crammed so major catching up in fast! Love iT!!!
Donnie: Mkay, you may be the most sarcastic with me...and frankly... I love it, bc secretly sarcasm is really the only way to go about things! It really is so much more fun! You make me smile, and I really have so much fun all the time! We have to cram as much fun in as possible before school starts again...kapeesh? I know you agree!
Clayton: I mean are there really words?! I dont know...but I will say that you may be(and by may, I mean for sure) the coolest person ever! You just don't care, and I love it! I wish I could be so much more like that! I laugh way too much when I am with you and it is quite awesome!
Kane: I love that you actually want to hang out with a loser like me, and well everyone else too!:) Sleepover this weekend for sure!
AmberDenae: I am so so so happy that I met you ( in a random, roundabout way!) You are such a light for God, and I really love love love talking to you! You give me such a fresh, beautiful perspective to all that I am feeling, because I know you are going through a lot of the same things~ I thank God every day that I have gotten to share even a glimmer of your life with you! You are beautiful and I really cherish all that you say!
Haley: I mean, this really could go a lot of ways...but I will leave it at this....I only let you and only you refer to me as half of the things you do! It is fun, and I really leave your house laughing...pretty much all the time! Too much fun!
Macy: You pretty much have the most awesome singing skills ever, and I have to say that your constant texting and phone calling always keeps me intrigued...dont ever forget a test hello early in the morning....just a helpful tip from a super smart girl!
Jenna: I love that you wanted to be friends four years ago after I akwardly got excited, and asked you to invite me over...oh year after I had already asked for your number...well lets be honest...I probably invited myself over, but look where we are now!>! You actually invite me over yourself!:) Oh yeah, and I love Bella too...duh!

M.I.A ... Literally!

Okay, so in hindsight, I guess it really hasn't been that terribly long since my last post, but it really feels like forever! I have been so busy finishing up this semester...and having a little fun too! I seriously cant wait for Christmas Break! I so just want to work and have fun, work and have fun! It will be oh so nice! Speaking of working...I am so poor right now! I really haven't figured out how I am going to buy Christmas presents...pasta necklaces anyone?! I will figure things out I am sure, most likely, my sis and I will go on a crazy expedition on Christmas Eve! This is usually how we complete our Christmas shopping every year, then we stay up until 2am wrapping, and are asleep just long enough for "Santa" to sneak our Christmas Stockings in front of the tree. Good Times! I really don't know what to get my sis this year...or any year for that matter:) I stole, well borrowed some old black and white photos of my dad's parents to have framed, my mom is basically an older version of me, so she will be super easy to shop for! She wears all the same clothes I do, and shops at all the same stores...so it really wont be too hard to pick something out! My little brother is happy with anything Star Wars right now, and Breezy, aside from a car, would be happy with anything to do with horses or A&M University. Ash....still clueless! Not even the slightest idea. Funny story...the other day I had a friend ask what he should get her...all I could come up with...paper. She loves stationary. Like she has boxes of the stuff...why, I don't know. Its not like she's writing to anyone, but she just likes it. He clearly was confused by my suggestion:) I will come up with something a little better than that I hope! So, I also have set myself up to have two weekends off over the break! I am so excited! Im going to La Grange to stay with my aunt one weekend, and the other is still up in the air. I really have been wanting to find somewhere to Volunteer over the holidays. Im thinking like homeless shelterish...I dont really know! Ive just been kind of overwhelmed with a spirit and need to give lately! I passed a homeless girl and her dog the other day, and all I had was a dollar! I felt terrible, so I gave it to her and then went to the store and bought her food and dog food/treats. When I went back, she was getting into a car loaded with four other dogs, two of which were tiny puppies! Not to mention the three other ppl in the car. This made me feel like I was still offering so much less than they needed, but she was very thankful for the gesture! Anyway...I know I should give like this all the time, but all this cold weather and christmas cheer really just makes you want to help however you can.

Bad Week...Great Oppurtunity to Write!

I said I would share one day, and for lack of a better topic....a song! A product of my crappy last few weeks!

Restore Me

I don't want to feel this way
Stuck in this dark and scary place
Please tell me when I'll see your face
You give me reason to cry
And it's like I never knew the happiness that I used to

Hanging on and for what now? I am lost, I can't get out, please help me out...

Why do we do this, why does this happen?
When can my lonely go away?
I am a sinner, and I am begging
Lord for your mercy, to be saved by your grace
And I will kneel down now, humbly bow down
For you Lord to wrap me in your light
Please open my eyes now, as my heart cries out loud
Won't you guide me, and show me the way into your heart

I've let this drag take over me
And I can't quite figure out, just why this all had to come out
You are much stronger than me
You'll be my power so I can follow faithfully

Moving on, forward now, make clear to me, all that my empty heart can't see...

Why do we do this, why does this happen?
When can my lonely go away?
I am a sinner, and I am begging
Lord for your mercy, to be saved by your grace
And I will kneel down now, humbly bow down
For you Lord to wrap me in your light
Please open my eyes now, as my heart cries out loud
Won't you guide me, and show me the way into your heart

And you knew it would turn out this way
I am a child, I am your child, but I've strayed
Please help me find my way home
You are my Father, the only Father I have known

I'm hanging on for something now, but I'm still lost, I'm almost out, Lord lift me out...

Why do we do this, why does this happen?
When can my lonely go away?
I am a sinner, and I am begging
Lord for your mercy, to be saved by your grace
And I will kneel down now, humbly bow down
For you Lord to wrap me in your light
Please open my eyes now, as my heart cries out loud
Won't you guide me, and show me the way into your heart
Lord guide me, and show me, restore me
Until I am yours

A Love Lost, Before It Was Even Her Own...

I read a beautiful story today while I was getting my hair done, and I wanted to share...

"He was literally the boy next door. His name was Nello, a family name, and when I was angry, I used to call him "Jell-O" just to annoy him.. Home videos show us spending entire days in my parents' maroon shag-carpeted basement, playing a married couple. At 5, he was an ideal husband: tan, gorgeous, and submissive enough to be talked into almost anything. He let me decide where we'd live and the names of our children, played by a motley gang of My Little Ponies. He lived in the same row of townhouses on my suburban street, easy enough to find when I wanted someone to watch my new tap routine or to help me put my mom's lipstick on our Border collie.
Our parents became best friends and spent hours on the shared front stoop watching us play. Even then, I liked the way Nello doted on his baby sister, carrying her across the stretch of front yards like a soccer trophy. He was obviously the boy I'd one day marry-never mind the fact that he was the only boy I knew.
When I was 7, though, we moved to another town. Even if I couldn't walk over and swing open his screen door anymore, I continued to know in my heart that Nello would be the guy I'd end up with. I asked him to my first "bring a date" party in junior high, his skin still tan and his smile perfect, while I was battling acne and Brillo-pad hair. At the end of the night, he hugged me and said he had a good time.
Nello was my life raft, a promise of the secure future I'd one day have. With his athletic build and mascara commercial eyelashes, he also gave me instant cred. I brought a photo of us together to sleep away camp and lied to my whole bunk that he was my boyfriend, which garnered a chorus of jealous "ohhs." What did I care that none of the Camp Timber Ridge boys wanted to kiss me if I had better-albeit semi-imaginary-boyfriend back home?
By the time we moved out of our parents' houses and on to college in different states, we'd lost touch, other than the annual Christmas card and photo. I dated other boys, of course, sometimes for years, but I always knew none of them was ultimately the guy for me. Nello had graduated from college in New Jersey, gotten into Real Estate, and was still playing soccer. Knowing that my tomorrows were secure, thanks to a future marriage I'd secretly arranged for myself, made it OK to date guys who were horribly wrong for me.( The fact that Nello wasn't also counting on our impending nuptials was, to me, a technicality.) Unlike most of my friends, who went crazy with husband-hunting after college, I was happy to live abroad, to take new jobs in new cities, to not rush into my adult life because I knew I had the world's best partner waiting fr me in Grown-Up Town whenever I was ready.
When the real estate market tanked, Nello decided to pursue his dream of living in California. he and his sister would shared an apartment together in San Diego; on the cross-country drive to their new home, they visited the Grand Canyon and the red rocks of Sedona. The got jobs waiting tables. The last I heard, he was learning how to surf.
When I went home for the holidays that year, I noticed we didn't get the usual card from Nello's family. When I asked my mom about it, she told me we needed to talk. I expected some lame drama about a falling-out she'd had with his mother, bu instead she told me that Nello had died. He'd gone swimming in the ocean with a friend one night, and when the other guy couldn't find him, he assumed Nello had walked the few blocks back home. The next morning, after he didn't come home or show up for work, his sister called the police. His body wouldn't wash up for a couple of days. Since my mom said she didn't know how I'd handle the news, she 'd waited to tell me in person.
I'd known Nello longer than any man in my life besides my dad, but for the past few years I hadn't really known him. What I'd held onto was an idea of him and what he represented. He was a consolation that no matter how many guys were the kind of jerks who dumped you on Valentine's Day, there was at least one guy out there like Nello: single, handsome, reliable, kind.
In the local paper store, I picked through the sympathy cards. Nothing said anything close to what I was feeling. I stood in the aisle, my throat tight. I decided on a blank one with a wispy watercolor branch that I thought his mother, a painter, might like.
Over Christmas, my family and I watched home videos of Nello and me in the old neighborhood. After about 10 minutes, I was sobbing so loudly that my mom turned off the TV, then sat back down and put her arms around me. Of course I was crying for Nello, his lovely family, for how unfair his death was, and for how we'd all miss that sweet kid. But what I say aloud was that I was also crying for myself-a widow of sorts, adrift in this big scary world, no life raft in sight."

Now some might be thinking creepy, but I think this is so innocently beautiful! Can you imagine meeting someone that even at the age of five you find yourself completely and utterly enthralled with! A companionship you only hope to share with someone for the rest of your life!? That you could find comfort in your loneliness knowing that even if not with you, that he is happy somewhere else in the world?! I can only dream! Every girl should have a Nello! And God willing, mine will come to me at some point in this lifetime! I think it's so crazy to think like what if I have already met him? Wouldn't it be great if God could put a little sign above his head like, "AMBER! This one is for you!" That would be oh so nice. To me this story was far too sweet, and I am pretty sure I re-read it three times as I was getting my hair colored. Enjoy!

Hi Friends! So I have been absolutely crazy busy...with nothing important!:)Does that even make sense?! My stress has left for the time being, which feels amazing! I am just trying to stay on top of things and make the best of it all, as the semester is coming to an end! Finals are right around the corner, and I couldn't be more excited! Sadly, the idea of waking up at 6am to work 10 hours, 7 days a week is sounding quite appealing compared to school! I'm sure the fact that I will actually have money for once has something to do with that!:) So I have been writing a ton, and it feels amazing! I really had forgotten how much I truly love it! I get so much, and it's pretty awesome~ I will share some eventually, but it's all kind of still in the works. On another note, I seriously need to learn how to play my guitar, and STAT! In the midst of all this writing, I have decided that my songs would be a lot more fun for me if I had music to go along! I mean I can awkwardly hum tunes all day long, but really a loud guitar to drown out my voice would just be better for me. I'm not terrible, but def. not the singer/songwriter type....I'll just write:) Thanks. So, as I noted last week, I was house sitting in Austin, all in all, a good time! I made the easiest money ever, and I got my name out to a lot of potential clients...(haha, that sounds weird...and almost inappropriate) What do you call them?! It's not really a business per say.....although, I can totally see how people make living house sitting and what not~ And I might even start doing that on the side in part with my other jobs and school. It really is super easy, and fun! All these families have super cute kids too, which is really just a perk:)
-So at this point I am ninety-five percent sure that I am going to have next Friday off, and I am excited! I have to work on Wednesday all day, and then the morning of Thanksgiving, and then it is one and a half days of bliss! And I am going to need it! I will be working at the kennel, and we have 80 pets checking in, in the span of four hours! Crazy! I've been at the kennel for seven years now, so it really is all second nature, but still, that is just a crazy amount of people, dogs, and cats in our little office on the same day! I am so excited for a day off, that I have decided it will be my day-O-fun:) with friends who are home from school! I haven't really started planning too much, but it really is going to be a day of events!:)
-So how is this for crazy...I am going to see Twilight at midnight with friends! Lucky for me, I get to sort of sleep in in the morning before I get my hair did, and then it is off to work for the afternoon! It should be a pretty fun time, and if you could see my roots(which you can, from a mile away!)the hair appointment is much over do! Alright, loves, that is all for now!
xoxo a

To Live What Your Feeling, To Hate What You Feel...

So it had to happen at some point, but my happy high is slowly coming to an end I feel. This week has had me down a bit, and I am not welcoming it at all! I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with life. I can't help but wonder where I would be right now if I were not in school. I know God does not encourage envy, but right now more than ever, do I want to be at a different place in my life. I am so passionate about things, I am just not at a place to pursue! I hate that I feel like school is holding me back, because if I am truly honest with myself(which I rarely am), I know that even when I graduate...whenver that is....I am still not going to be doing what I love. I don't even know that I completely have a grasp on what "that" is, but I know I am not there, and I def. don't know if I am heading in that direction. I hate all of the standards that have been set up for me, and all the expectations that are dictating my life. I would be the happiest person in the world right now, if I only knew that what I am doing now, is in fact right for me. I am needing some new perspective on life, and I'm not sure where to turn to get it. I need you to show me that this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. I know that we have to go through certain trials in order to understand and see the bigger pictures, but right now I am not in a place to interpret signs that I am heading in the right direction. I need you to show me that I have it right....
-Okay so I was clearly feeling a little sorry for myself the other day. I have been down but it's a new day, and a new start! I really hate when I let myself get down about such minimal things, because I really do have so much to be thankful for! I have been listening to this song like over and over againg, and I think it's amazing! Also, shout out to Amber, you might be my only reader, and I am totally okay with that! Your comments always make me feel amazing, and I love love hearing what you have to say! You are awesome!
Ingram Hill- Troubled Mercy

Mercy fights a little war again
Always the one that tried so hard, but she couldnt win
TO LIVE WHAT YOUR FEELING, TO HATE WHAT YOU FEEL
NO ONE SHOULD LIVE THIS WAY
That's all over, its all over now

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you troubled Mercy

Mercy tried to make things right again
But the dark is where she hides to cradle the sin
Hard to know what is real when you beg and you steal
But you dont want to be this way
That's all over, it's all over now

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you troubled Mercy

Your innocence is gone
You don't know where you lost it
Well somehow it all went wrong
But it wont last long

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you Mercy
I wont leave you Troubled Mercy

Georgia....

So Ash and I have decided to take a trip this summer! Our destination of choice is going to be Savannah, Georgia! I am so excited! I think it is so pretty, and although I have never been there, I think the trip is going to be amazing! So here is where you come in...I don't know where to go, where to stay, what to do?!?! I figured I would exercises this as an option for suggestions! Now not only is it beautiful there from what I've been told, but Paula Dean lives there! I lover her! She is so fun! I hear she has a restaurant there that is super good too, and we all know how I love eating out! So needless to say I think it will be amazing! We wanted to take an Amtrak Train for the trip, but who knew that was so expensive! So we have opted for flying, which really I think will be better in the end. We are playing with the idea of splurging and staying in this beautiful Bed and Breakfast at least one night while we are there!This trip should be exciting either way, but I'm thinking that staying in this beautiful room will make it that much sweeter!:) Who knows. It is very expensive, and in all reality we will not be staying in our room for the most part. We will be out on the town, I hope! So the other fun part is that we cant rent a car, which means we will have to rely on the trolley system in Savannah! Kind of exciting, we will see!

Who Knew...

So I have been housesitting in Austin this week, and I have been learning some valuable lessons:
1. I could not live by myself! I totally thought I was one of those people who would enjoy living on my own...far from the truth! It is so lonely, and well I do not enjoy lonely!
2. What is the point of the fridge of drinks in the garage?! "I want a Diet Coke, but the fridge in the house...a little too easy". Now maybe I have this all wrong, but why make the trip farther and more inconvenient? It's not like there isnt plenty of room in the fridge that is IN the house...just a thought.
3. I need a large dog and a cute neighborhood to walk around. I would be way skinnier if I had a cute neighborhood to walk in that didnt have a ton of crazy college driver's racing down it! And though I realize I could walk with a small dog, I think a large one will ward off more crazies than say a yorkie:)
4. On that note, St. Bernard's might be the laziest dogs ever!
5. Is it weird to want to offer babysitting services to every cute kids parents I see while walking through the cute neighborhood? I hope not....:/ I'm not shy about networking...haha
6. Always bring your own pillow when staying away from home. It must be written somewhere that guests are supposed to like fluffy, tall, thick pillows...not I! Give me the flat, squishy ones please!
7. DVR, I need it! Thought I missed Grey's, oh, but no worries, you can rewind! Way too much fun! And can we just talk about the cute grandpa for a second! Tear...well like thirty, because I'm pretty sure I was crying forever!
8. If you own karaoke microphones and a plethora of karaoking cd's...you should probably just have those out waiting for me! This will save me the trouble of stumbling onto them while looking for the remote. Not to mention the three days I have already been here with nothing to do. Thanks.
9. Note to self: Don't have a sloping driveway later in life. It's the hot ticket in town for scooter riders. Who cares if they dont live here, sloping driveways...free reign! (Cute kid two doors down, you and your super-man scooter, you are ok)
10. And finally, staying in Austin, while life revoloves around San Marcos...not great for the gas tank...but I will say, shopping...way more fun in Austin....also not great for the bank account!
More lessons to come I'm sure...
xoxo a

Love Is The Movement....So Why Can't We Show Some?♥

I am so saddened by all of the hate that everyone has been showing since the conclusion of the election. I genuinely feel like we have reverted back to a truly sad time in America's History! A time of hate and racism! If you didn't vote for Obama, it is okay to be sad, upset...whatever. However, the fact of the matter is, he is going to be our new president,and it is time to move on and support! I didn't vote for Obama, but I do genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason, God will provide, he always does. The hate I have seen on posts, facebook status', and myspace is overwhelming! From both sides! I do think Barack Obama is an amazing speaker, and he did make a good point...we are the UNITED States of America, and we need to start acting like it. November 4th was not just a day in history for African Americans, it was a day in history for us all. These feelings of hate and belittlement have no place in our lives and the direction that America needs to be heading in. I really am done speaking about political issues at this point, because I am so ready to move on. I've said my piece, and let's just be happy! Throw yourself into the word, and put your passion in that! You are going to get so much more out of it, and perhaps some new light! God is good, so let him do his work and show us!:)
xoxo a

FrOm ThE iNsIdE oUt...

So here it is....my favs for the week! I love these songs!

Love My Life..

Hey Loves! So it has been another great weekend here in Texas. It was Halloween, so that was great! Hannah was a hit! And, it has to be said...I really loved being Hannah! Maybe a little too much. At the time, putting on my Hannah wig two hours before my party didn't seem like a crazy idea, but looking back on the situation, I feel as though I may be a little embarrassed by the display of my costume quite so early. Oh well, what are you going to do! I have included a few pictures from this weekend, so you too can share in some Hannah fun! For the social events on Saturday, I played broom ball with my sorority. I was on the 'Made In the 80's Team'. Now not only was I actually made in the 80's, but I have an extreme love for sequins, so really this team was just really appropriate for me! I had a ton of fun! I went to play broom ball with every intent of kind of standing around, and not getting to physical with the game....that is not how it really worked out! Something crazy came over me, and I started running to get the ball! So much so, that I fell...HARD! It was not pretty, and really embarrassing, but everyone else fell..a lot, so I think my falling is therefore justified.
-So I have recently bought yet another journal. I seriously have about five going right now, bc I love them so much! I buy one, and then I go to the store and find another one that I think is prettier! Anyway, back to the relevance in this post...I have really been trying to get back into my writing more! I do a lot of self-reflection writing(ie this blog..my journal..), but I used write poems, songs...all kinds of stuff. Secretly, I desperately want to learn how to play my guitar, and writing songs would be a lot more interesting, and well meaningful if there were music to go along! Right?!?! Just a thought....
-I have two tests this week, and a project to get out of the way, and then I am going to be school free for yet another weekend~ My aunt is flying in from California, and I'm pretty excited about it! You know how you have that one relative who is just super fun, and you feel like they really should be closer to you in age bc they are so cool...that's my aunt! She is really funny, and well who doesn't love to laugh?!:)
-Today I bought the most beautiful Bible ever! I love it! I lost my other bible...how terrible is that?!?! Pretty terrible! I know! I feel really bad about it, but really I cant say what happened...bc I just don't know! I'm going to blame it on the fact that I had to have a two door car...intern making ppl not want to ride in it's cramped back seat. Because of this fact, my car is really just an excuse for a second bedroom....closet...trash can?! It's really bad! I'm pretty sure should the occasion ever arise, I can clothe a small family...in any season! I'm just saying!
Also in this great weekend, I FINALLY got to see HSM 3! For my sake, and my maturity level, I really wanted to think it was just okay. I mean I am 22, it's probably about time to start growing up...but I cant lie. BEST MOVIE EVER! TRUE STORY! I knew I was in trouble when the lights in the theatre turned down, and at the sound of the opening number I was instantly excited! And when did Zac Efron get so hot?!?! Musical theater..not usually my type...but WOW! Love it! So if you can put aside your ego, I highly recommend it!
-Election Day was today, and as most of you know now...Obama is our president! It's so crazy, and I think it was expected, but it is still crazy now that it is a reality. Not how I voted, but I'm holding faith in God, and that everything happens for a reason. I'm not saying that I agree with all of his beliefs, but perhaps a new perspective on our terrible situation can help. We as a country are in such a poor place right now, and the odds that it will be turned around in one term...not likely at all. God willing, he will shed light on how we turn this all around, and in four years we can get a great republican in there to make it all right! I'm all about perspective, and sometimes one we aren't really willing to see, can shed new and positive light. Bottom line, he is our president, and that is that.
-So that's about it for now. It's been yet another beautiful day, and I am continually thankful for all that I have! Love you all!
xo a

Love Is Not A Fight, But It's Worth Fighting For...

So in light of my extremely happy disposition, I was overwhelmed with sadness today as I watched the news!  Ann Presely a news anchor in Alabama died over the weekend, from injuries she acquired when someone broke into her home and beat her...almost to death.  She was unable to recover.  I don't even know this woman, but it just makes me sick!  I read about this story online on Friday, and it was made out as though she was expected to make a full recovery!  It really is just so so sad, so pray for her family!  She was only 26, and lived by herself.  There are no leads in her case at all.  I know stuff like this happens all the time, every day in fact, but this story just keeps sticking with me!  I cant even imagine what her family is going through.
-So I cant figure it out!  I have had this odd peace about everything for about two weeks now!  I am so so so happy, and I really don't know why!  I feel like God is either preparing me for an extreme amount of stress, or it really is just time for me to be happy and worry free!  I have never really thought of myself as a pessimist, but I've been really making a conscious effort to truly find the positive in everything!  And, I think it's really making a difference!  I'm just happy!  ALL THE TIME!  I've also been really wanting to read my bible!  Crazy for me!  I mean I always want to read it, but I never make the time for it!  Lately, I feel excited when the time presents itself!  It's pretty awesome!  I have been waiting a long time to experience the true passion for the word that so many of my friends have, and I feel like it's coming to me... not on my own terms, which really is so much more sweet!  I've been saying it a lot, but Life really is so so good right now, and I want everyone to know it!
-This weekend was not overly productive in that, I basically spent the whole weekend at IKEA~  I mean I can't complain, I really do love that store!  It's probably my third favorite place in the world!  Right behind, Pike's Place Market in Seattle, and Hobby Lobby respectively!:)  That store is so so cool!  Whoever decided setting up fake rooms in a store....Genius!  I mean really!  Love it!  
-My not so little sister turned 15 this weekend!  So crazy!  She is all grown up!  She is the most beautiful girl ever!  She has the best head on her shoulders!  At fifteen, I was still so terrible to my mother, and yelling that I was going to run away if I couldn't go to the mall!(I was pretty ridiculous, and dramatic!  It was those years that I picked up my nickname 'the evil twin', something I am still trying to prove wrong!)  She had a really good weekend I think, and I love that I could be a part of it!:)
-I need to be super productive this week in terms of school, because next week is lining up to be quite busy!  So far I have a project due on Monday, and then two tests after that!  Crazy Crazy!
-So I am always looking for good songs to add to the soundtrack that is my life, and well today I found yet another! I feel as though it is pretty easy for me to find songs that I can relate to my life, because well, let's be honest, I experience all of my emotions on a daily basis! However, this one really stuck out for me today, and I wanted to share!
This one is called "By Your Side", by Tenth Avenue North
It pretty much sums where I feel like God is leading me right now. I think learning things about our lives as it is happening is pretty amazing in itself, but when you can find a song that sums it up...that much more amazing! I'm pretty sure this has been on repeat in my car all day, and probably will continue to be until at least the end of the week...or until I find one to sum up tomorrow's blog!:)
xo a

The Final Product!

So we finished the re-decorating of the living room this weekend!  Now I am realizing that a 'before' picture would have been helpful, however, I didnt take one!  Just know that this is much much cuter than my living room has ever been!  I love it!  I was really nervous about the orange, and although I realize that some might hate this....it's my living room and I LOVE IT!

xo a

You Get The Best Of Both Worlds....

Hey Friends! So right now I am sitting in the education building waiting for my next class to start. Did I mention that BOTH of my legs are asleep at this point, and I am sitting on a really hard floor! The business college gets flat screen t.v.'s, leather couches, and hard wood floors! I mean I'm just putting it out there, but I think I might be a little less bitter if I was sitting on a pretty hard floor.:) I had a test today, and I think it went pretty well! It was in Fashion Merch. so I really don't think you can call it a test. It's like saying "Amber tell us why you wore that shirt today....but we are testing you...so DON'T MESS UP!" It's a fun class, and I love love love fashion, so...second nature! So Halloween is coming up and I am way super excited~! I don't ever dress up for Halloween, bc I don't understand why you automatically have to dress slutty when you are in college! Like it is some unwritten rule! I was looking at some costumes online, and they even managed to make nuns slutty! Total contradiction! So in keeping with my theme of trying not to look like a whore, I have decided to be HANNAH MONTANA! My whole costume is going to be based around some stiletto high heel boots.....covered in SEQUINS! I love sequins! They really should be on everything! They make me happy! Being sparkly makes me happy! I really don't think you can go wrong with Disney! And I also don't mind embracing a little immature fun! Most of my friends are going to be super hero's, since that is the theme of the party we are going to, but Hannah is two people....that's a super hero if you ask me! I can barely keep up with one life, let alone two!

-Also, since we are on the topic of Disney, HSM 3 comes out in a few days! (I swear I will be done ranting about my immature tendencies in a second). My bible study and I are all going to go see it on Tuesday when we finish up! Way fun!

-Side note about babysitting this weekend...cutest thing ever! The little girl Avery, who is three years old was so excited to see me! She had extended family over, and she individually introduced me to everyone as her friend Ms. Amber. She was just way too cute! She couldn't get everyone to leave fast enough so we could play! I love love love kids!

-We finished painting the living room....I may have already told y'all that, but it looks good! Hopefully we can start moving stuff back into the room tonight! On Friday we are going to go to my 2nd most favorite store in the whole wide world.....IKEA! We are going to be buying two chairs that will match the room better. I also want to get this light to sit behind the side table in between the two chairs...but Ash isn't so sure about it. What do you think? I just like it! Also, for you more savvy bloggers...do you know how to insert pictures anywhere into the blog entry! See if would have made sense to just have the pictures down here, instead of the links...but every time I add them they are at the top of the entry....annoying! Oh well.

-My little sister is turning 15 next week! It is so so so crazy! I cant believe she is all grown up! She is the most beautiful girl ever, and I am so proud of her! We used to have kind of a rocky relationship, and I think I was kind of hard on her!:( She had really low self-esteem, and I was just inconsiderate! Makes me sick to think about it! She seriously could model now, and I love her so much! We def. get along, and everything is good, except that I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET HER! She is really into horses, but she is not a girly girl at all! I am the epitome of girly...so to pick out something for her that isn't pink, and she will like....SO HARD!

-Phi Lamb girls are going to playoff for Intramural Football undefeated! Exciting!

I ♥ Highschool Musical!

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So Big/Lil Sis has come and gone! So amazing! I got Emily, which is who I wanted...so yea Jesus! She is probably the cutest thing ever, and she crafts! I really think it was meant to be!:) We all went out to dinner @ Mamacita's afterwards, so that was fun! So today is Tx State's Homecoming...and you know where I am at?! WORK! yuck! It really is not that fun, and I am a little sad that I am going to be missing out! I need a job that doesn't require EVERY day of the weekend! Although, I do also need money! I was talking to a friend last night, and he told me to quit and just live a little.(so I could make an un-planned trip to Houston to visit) I found this all kind of ironic, bc I am working non-stop to live! Funny how things work!:) Ash and I are making progress on Operation Re-Decorate the Living Room. I have to be honest, I was getting really nervous about the color! I was driving around San Marcos the other day, and I def. saw a Volkswagen Bug the exact same color that we are painting the walls! That to me was a bit of a red flag! I also kind of think that when we
open the blinds...our living room might glow from the street!:) It def. looks better now that we have put a second coat on the walls, but still pretty bright! I think once we have everything in the room it will look a lot better...but I am still a little nervous! Either I am going to love it, or hate it! It's up in the air! That's all for now, I'm sure ill have more tomorrow!

xo a

Living Happily Ever After...Just Short of The Prince:)

Life is so so good right now! Wow. I def. got a 95 on my Social Work test...and this can probably go without saying, but AMAZING! Like I really think this might be my 2nd or 3rd "A" on a test in a long long time! And, being that grades are a seriously big deal this semester....it's GREAT! I have been so crazy busy with school, and granted I feel like I am always having to do a project or study for a test...I can't help but wonder where I would be right now if I had only applied myself like this 4 years ago! It's okay though, I'm not bitter. I had to do an interview the other day and we started talking about being indecisive and she told me not to get discouraged, bc "Life Is The Best Teacher". Isn't that the truth! I know I have thought along these lines before, probably at some point when I was feeling down about myself! I don't know, hearing it just made me think AMEN! So I have been hanging out with my big sis in phi lamb, and it's been amazing! She went inactive last year, so we really didn't keep in touch too much! Life has been way too fun! I think my sis has felt a little left out, but I am working on that! She doesn't usually like to hang out with my sorority sisters bc I guess she feels like she cant relate..? I don't know, she wont go to bible study with me, or anything! I really wish she would, but obviously I cant force her! I don't know, I just think she would grow so much! Spiritually where I am today, is far different than even a year ago! It's crazy, and I love it! I wish she could see how much I get out of it all, and be curious enough to get in on the action! It's just a fun group of girls! We talk, giggle! And just bc we've decided to give each week a theme and dress up! Oh and we are all equally lame!:) It's awesome! On that note, socially, my calendar has been FULL... I guess that's a good thing, but oh man have I been busy! Jenna, Whitney, Haley, and Macy and I are always doing something! I am either at school, work, their house, or an intramural football game! It really has just been great hanging out with everyone again! Work is getting a little smoother too. Ive just been trying to limit my hours at the law office, until things pick up a little. No worries there. I'm looking forward to this weekend, tonight I'm going to my favorite restaurant ever with a bunch of girls I love so it will be a nice end to my week! Tomorrow night is Big Sis/Lil Sis for Phi Lamb, and I am super excited! I signed up to take two this year, so it should be exciting! I loved being a Big last year! Getting to continually show love to someone for no reason is pretty awesome, and it just feels good too!

Some other reasons to be extremely happy:

I was freezing this morning when I left for work at 6:30am! Granted, it was still dark outside, and it has been raining...the cold air was amazing! Even at 3:00, it is still slightly chilly outside, and that is way exciting for me! I love love winter! At least for a few months anyway! I'm excited about winter fashion this year too, bc it is all so dang cute!(lol, this is my new fashion merchandising knowledge coming out). I bought a yellow pea coat like two months ago, and I have been dying to wear it!

I get to babysit two of the cutest girls ever this weekend! One is only eight months old, and I LOVE babies, so...enough said.

We are getting closer to November 1st, which is when I have decided I am going to decorate for Christmas! I'm just going to skip Thanksgiving this year! Jenna decorates incredibly early too, and why not! 1 month really isn't long enough for all the festive cheer that Christmas brings about!

Still Here!...

OK, so yes, I am still ALIVE!  Life has been so absolutely crazy this past few weeks!  I have never in my life been so busy with...well life!:)  School is def. taking it's toll on me this semester!  I only have classes two days a week, which in theory sounded like a good plan...until now!  I am realizing that means that all of the tests then have to be squeezed into two days a week as well!  Studying, def. not my cup of tea!  I hate it!  Anyway, enough about that....my life is stressful, and that is that! So i have finished my tests for the week today, and my sister and I have decided to re-decorate our living room!  FUN!  We do this about once every six months or so!  We are a little obsessed with places like IKEA and Pottery Barn, which only fuel our obsession and drain our bank accounts, but OMG it is so so much fun!  So for this go around we are going with a girly theme!  We want something really girly and fun!  So fun that we have decided to paint the walls......orange!  Crazy I know!  But don't think crayola orange...think "It's Fall and beautiful!"  It's def. more of a dark color, but we are accenting with cream couches and chairs and livening it up with bright floral throw pillows!  Now the only thing we cant decide on is curtains.....I was thinking maybe like a gold tone...but I really can't say yet.  I will def. post pictures as we make progress!  Right now, we are just trying to clear our room and clean!  Amidst all that craziness, we have also decided to re-decorate our recently vacant back bedroom!  My sis and I started out just the two of us, but we had a roommate all summer!  She graduated, and has now moved out...so it's just the two of us now!  We are going to just make it a guest room for guests...haha we don't really have overnight guests...ever, but whatev!  It's going to be cute too!  Anyway, so that is my life for now!  Crazy Busy!  More posts to come!  I have been so sad....I really have just not had the time to blog!  And it has been so hard!  Study....or Blog...really I have found myself thinking this a lot lately!  Obviously I went with the studying!:)  Love you all!

xoxo a

Compulsive.....Me?!?! I Don't Think So!

So can I just say that Saturday and Sunday go by entirely too fast! I have been dreading this upcoming week, and sadly it is here! I have three tests this week, and no time! School stresses me out like nothing else in my life, and I hate it! As I sit here (not studying)...okay, so I had really written a ton earlier...and just now when I came back...all gone! Sad Day! Oh well, I'm positive it was all random rambling probably about many things I have already blogged about. So I got a Laptop, way exciting! I can't say that I really needed one, which is why I have decided to keep it my little secret...and yours of course. I could tell my parents, but that would be preceded by a lecture on how I don't need another credit card..,which is a whole nother...(lol, I know this isn't a real word, but as I am sitting here typing...this is what I said in my head!)another story is what I think I was trying to get at!:) I probably have the worst philosophy in the world when it comes to credit cards and debt..bc i have my fair share of it. I'm just thinking, that eventually I will have a decent job to help pay it all off. My parent's pay for all of my schooling out of pocket, because they don't want me to have to payoff school loans when I graduate. So rather than pay $60,000 in loans when I get out of here, I will have a much smaller Discover card to take care of. You know those commercials that start out "Are you ten, twenty, thirty thousand dollars in debt....If so, call...." Well, let's just say that I am no where near any of those numbers and I figure as long as I don't find myself answering yes to the T.V. man...a little debt never hurt anyone. You've got to build credit somehow right?!:) Anyway, So I have taken one test so far in this week of fun, and I have two more to go! The one I have tomorrow is going to be kind of hard I'm thinking, and studying for it is proving to be even harder for me! I don't know what it is! I swear, I have sat down about ten different times tonight trying to force myself to read. I'm thinking I will probably stay up a few more hours tonight and try and be productive, and then hopefully it will be a slow day at work tomorrow! Yikes!

Saturday Night was super fun! I was in charge of craft time at Lauren's Apartment! We had rush for my sorority last week, and the pledges had their first retreat this past weekend. On the second night of the retreat, all of the pledges stay at Active members houses, just to bond and hang out....be girly..you know:) Well, Lauren asked me to be in charge of craft time, which for those of you who don't know...(which is basically all of you!) I LOVE CRAFTS! It's borderline crazy at this point! Hobby Lobby is my favorite store for sure! Last week I went on Monday and sadly used everything I bought.....that night! Not only did I have to go back the next day, but I also had to ask them to restock the shelves of canvases I had cleaned out the day before....just so I could do it again! I think it is a stress reliever....which isn't really a good thing, bc apparently I am really stressed then! I absolutely love it! I will craft by myself, but if I can get someone to do it with me...even better! It really is a blast! We all have our vices right?! Some have poker...I have puff paint! Good Times!

On RePeAt iN mY cAr...eNjOy xo!

mY fAvOrItE sOnG rIgHt NoW...

Beautiful~

I love love love this! I had a retreat with my sorority a few weeks ago, and my friend Lynnsey wrote this during our quiet time, and then took this beautiful picture! Her words are so innocent and true. It's funny how we are made to look at failure as if it is a bad thing. I know for me, some of the most valuable lessons have been learned at my most vulnerable moments. I've really been thinking about this whole study abroad thing a lot...just whether or not it is for me, and how I can make my parents understand the way I am thinking. It's been weighing kind of heavy on my heart the last few days. The other night on my way back to my car I just got to thinking about how sometimes we find ourselves in certain situations, and we don't really understand why. I always find myself saying "Why is this happening to me, and why right now?! " Most of the time it is because I don't like what is happening. As I was pondering this and thinking about all that I have learned in those situations, I randomly stumbled on a christian group worshiping in the amphitheater on campus. Jimmy (whom I've met on a few occasions) was singing the most beautiful song about giving it all to him, and how our purpose is not our own. All of these events could not have played out at a better moment. I literally just had to stop and listen to the rest of their praise and worship service. I immediately felt a sense of peace about all that I have been thinking about lately. I just do not have the means to go to South Africa right now, anywhere for that matter, and if God truly needs me there, then it will happen...whether it is this year or next.

My Grandma. She is the most amazing person ever! My grandfather past away a year ago in May. I've been trying to make a point to visit my grandmother more, as I know she is lonely. She asked me to drive her to her Historical Commission meeting tonight so that she could stay longer. I have to be honest and say that initially I didn't want to go. That is so so terrible. I just found myself stressing about the three tests I have next week(lol as I sit her and blog, instead of studying). As soon as we got to her meeting, I remembered why I can afford to put my stress aside from time to time. She just had the best time ever! I don't think there was anyone there under the age of 70, besides me...and they were all so welcoming and cute! My grandmother had the best time ever, and it just made me realize that I need to be more understanding and compassionate with her. She would do anything for me, it really was the smallest bit to give something back to her, but still I know she appreciated it..

And, last but most def. not least....GREY'S started tonight! Yea! I haven't watched it yet, but I am still so so so excited! What What!

Okay, so finally! I was reading my friend Amber's blog this morning, and she was blogging about something that is effecting everyone right now...OUR FAILING ECONOMY! It really is scary! I work at a title company part time while I am in school, and we are hurting so bad! Obviously if people aren't buying homes, then we have no one to work title up for! Now I have two jobs, so for me it isn't a total loss if things don't work out, but still scary for those who rely on this job as means of an income!

-xoxo a

Out of Africa...

So I was sitting in my social work class today, and my professor started talking about study abroad programs! I really have never given any of them too much thought, because I have been in school for five years now! My parents aren't really too into anything that might prolong that graduation date, since it is still about a year and a half out. Here's the thing though...this particular trip is over Christmas break, and wait for it....
they are going to SOUTH AFRICA!!! This trip has my name written all over it! I want to go soo soo soooooooooo bad! I have been interested in Africa in general for a long time, but like I ever thought me going there would be a real possibility. I would obviously have to pay for the whole trip myself, so I probably wont be able to go until next year's trip....but OMG, how amazing would that be! I'm not a social work major, but bc this trip is through the social work program, we would get to do a lot of work with children! The trip is $6000 which to me really didn't sound bad at all! I mean it's South Africa for goodness sake, and say that an opportunity like this one ever presented itself later in life , it would definitely be a lot more! I called both of my parents and right now they are not receptive to the idea at all! I totally expected that though, so I'm not totally down on my luck yet. I guess their main concern is that I am going to get kidnapped, but I know this is bc they aren't educated enough on the whole idea yet.  Yes, Africa can be very dangerous...but Northern Africa! I would be going to Cape Town. Seriously, Africa is HUGE! I'm pretty sure Texas State wouldn't be sending us into Africa if where we were going was extremely dangerous! I am just hoping that I can show them that I really need to go! I figure if I can save up this next year and show how serious I am, then maybe they will get it.  AFRICA!  I mean is there really anything to think about?!?!  I feel like the obvious answer is NO! Pray for me!

Piano's, Babies and Barbies...

What a weekend! I have found lately that I am living for the weekends, which isn't really a bad thing I guess...So here's a bit of random information I learned this weekend courtesy of my mom. When I write, I use ... ALL the time, mainly because I am constantly thinking about a million different things, and well... allows me to talk about one and then move on to the next! So it actually has a real name! It's called an ellipsis, and to correctly use it, you are supposed to put a space in between each . . . So with that I will continue this random blog, but interesting nonetheless! I love my Mom, she is so awesome! She turned 42 on Sunday, and she doesn't look a day past 25! Seriously! I started out the weekend a little early on Thursday night:) My best friend Elysia is in town because she was evacuated from Houston last week. We went to this little place downtown called Pete's Dueling Piano Bar. I have heard of it, but never been! Why Not?! I have no idea! So much fun! Basically there is a stage with two grand piano's, you write whatever songs you want on napkins and take them up to the piano on your side of the bar, and they play your song! You have to sing along if you don't want to be embarrassed and if they think your request is silly then they light heartedly make fun of you, along with the rest of the bar! Really a lot of fun! Definitely more of a "Girls Night Out", our friend Clint didn't seem too amused by all of the singing, especially not the idea of singing along:) All in all a good time. So I spent all day at work on Saturday. We got this new clock in machine, get this...that uses FINGERPRINTS! We are crazy sophisticated at old OCK now:) For those of you blogging friends that don't know, I work at a dog kennel on the weekends. This to me is just a little on the crazy side. I mean I don't even have to clock in period at the law office I work at during the week. I just write down my time there! It's a little funny, but kind of cool too! I have to say I felt a little important when I clocked out:) I got to babysit on Saturday night, and if you don't already know I LOVE babies! I had never babysat for this particular couple before, and when I arrived, I was greeted by an adorable three year old with curly red hair, and an 8 month old nicknamed "Happy". It was going to be a great night! It was fun! I'm all for playing, and if I wasn't 22 years old, I would probably still have barbies in my room.  And can I just say she had some fun ones!  Barbies have really come a long way since I had them.  Too much fun!  I have to say, feeding the 8 month old was entertainment in itself. It's been awhile since I've watched such a little one, and my skills were a little rusty:) After splattering her Gerber Squash on my face, while trying to get it open, I spilt most of it on her high chair when I tripped over my own shoe:) If you have never held an 8 month old, they still do not have a lot of control over the movement of their bodies. She would get so excited when she saw the spoon full of food, that she would literally fall right into it! She was too cute, and after grabbing the spoon and launching food across the kitchen, I did manage to feed her.:) The three year old was full of energy, and all she wanted to do was play all night! She insisted on going outside and pushing rocks on the swing, and then squirting me with a water gun...she smuggled it in the house too, and proceeded to squirt Bailey the St. Bernard as well. Bailey was not overly amused and just kept walking to new rooms of the house to get away. I got to go to church on Sunday with my family, which was nice. I don't get to go as often as I like because of work, and I really do enjoy going, so that was good. We just got a new priest a few weeks ago, and I really think he is going to be amazing for our congregation. He genuinely wants everyone to be involved, and that is exactly what our church needs. It has been a rough few years, and things are looking up. I spent the rest of Sunday at the salon my sister works at. They just built a beautiful new salon that needed setting up! We actually had a lot of fun. I haven't spent time with just my sister in awhile, usually we are with other friends, and so that was nice. We ended the night at my favorite restaurant in the world Trudy's, for a little birthday celebration for my Mom. She got carded at dinner, so I think she enjoyed herself:)

All You Gotta Do is DANCE DANCE DANCE...

The inevitable has happened....I have taken my dancing from the shower, into the streets of Austin!  Watch Out!   So we all went downtown on Friday night to celebrate Kristen's birthday....and it might have been the best night ever! We started out our evening for dinner and drinks at PF Chang's. Nothing too exciting, we were in a booth, but in the far back corner of the restaurant no less! Not a very prime place for people watching if you ask me! So as soon as we sit down for dinner, our waiter says "So what did yall come all the way to the big city to celebrate?" Now I know we live here in Texas, but where did he think we were from? We were all nicely dressed, and not one of us has that "texas accent" that would have sparked a question like this. Granted I didn't really grow up in Austin, but fifteen minutes away is hardly rural! Dinner was great! I think the manager had a small crush on Marisol, because he conveniently had two free platters of fried rice to give us...one with shrimp, and one without!:) I am not complaining, it was good! We finished dinner with a small photo op (the manager was very gracious in offering to take numerous pictures for us;)! Our waiter wished us a good evening and a safe trip "back" to wherever he thought we were from. We went to the Marq where we saw a Tony Romo look alike...but a much cuter version. He stared,we stared...and the best move he could come with when we were leaving the bar, A HIGH FIVE! I mean really?! This guy was probably in his late 20's early 30's...a high five? Funny. Anyway, we went to Gruv and that is basically where we spent the majority of our night! So I have decided that all of the funny dancers go out on Friday nights. We literally just sat there and watched people dance, or fall for that matter! *Sidenote: If you can't walk into the club without leaning on someone...you should have stopped two drinks ago!* This one guy awkwardly danced in front of our table for awhile before he just decided to sit down...on the table. He actually ended up being really entertaining...he sang for us. I really couldn't here what he was singing, but I'm pretty sure his voice wasnt terrible and it was funny. There was this poor girl who came by herself and danced all by herself for at least half an hour...I think she was going for a "I'm single, so dance with me" approach..but her outfit might have been another deterent for the evening! I will say this girl had to have had mad confidence to dance by herself, after being repeatedly passed by! My friends and I desperatley tried to get her a dance partner, but even we failed.  At this point we wanted to dance with her just because everyone needs a dance partner!...but we lost her in the crowd.  So instead we just took more fun picutures of ourselves...and others.  It's funny how when you are with a group of girls, men are incredibly willing to snap pictures for you...sometimes without even asking! One guy insisted on taking a picture for us,but then decided that because he had taken our picture, we probably needed a picture of him as well. Funny guy...and yes, now we have a picture of him! *Sidenote 2: If you are going to go anywhere with a boy...make sure he is classy! And if you are going to where a short dress....where underwear!*

This poor girl stumbled in with the greasiest guy imaginable! He definetly thought he was really attractive,and sadly,she was a cute girl. So they opted not to get any drinks, which for her was a good thing. Instead, they just awkwardly swayed as if to mimick some sort of slow dancing, but again this guy was holding her up...so they were limited! Now either this creep was just totally oblivious, or he really was just a creep.   Her skirt kept rising and rising because of how he was holding her, and no one said a thing! Finally, when her whole mini dress was up around her stomach, we had to go help her. We asked if she was okay, and she stumbled out with the creep! Bad situation, but what can you do?! So...anyway we finished off the night back at Marq dancing it up! So MUCH FUN! Just a great night out with the girls!  Seriously the most entertained I have been in a long time!  

If Life Is What You Make It....Im Making It Sweet!

Can I just say how aMaZiNg this week has been!  I am so so happy, and I love it!  I don't even have a reason to be happy right now!  I have absolutely no money, and I have been crazy busy...yet I have had this calm all week long.  I feel like this is going to be an amazing semester!  School really got me down this summer, and I really had a hard time being happy about anything.  Nothing in my life seemed as I wanted it, and I constantly found myself criticizing all that I did.  I am a constant worrier when it comes to how I am viewed in the eyes of others!  I told myself that I need to just let go of all of that, and show people who it is that I truly am...despite what they may think!  I have really let myself open up to sharing my beliefs and feelings with others, and it is so so empowering!  Spiritually, I have taken leaps and bounds in just the past week.  God is really showing me a lot right now...about what he wants me to do for myself, and for others!  For me it is so small, but I know he will replenish me in so many other ways!  It's funny, I have no money and I am not worried at all!  How can I be, when I just used what I had to make someone else feel loved, even if it was just for today.  I love my life!  Thank you Jesus!

Trust the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Too much weight for such little shoulders.....

So I downloaded a documentary the other day to watch on my Ipod called "Jesus Camp".  I barely read the description of what was to follow, but in my mind I think I thought is was going to be like a real world version of a church camp.  You know follow the kids around, see what they are eating for lunch...exciting stuff like that!:)  Not what I found at all, well for the most part.  This was a documentary on an Evangelical Children's camp in the United States.  It was pretty much crazy, and nothing that I have ever really seen before.  I know like with anything, there are different levels to organizations, and Christians are no different.  This video opened up with a room full of children and their parents, being preached to by a youth minister.  After telling them that Harry Potter is evil, all of the children gathered and begin speaking in tongues.  These kids were crying and just seemed to have no control over what was happening to them.  "You are crusaders for Christ!"  This youth pastor preached about how stopping abortion was up to these seven year olds!  I get that children are our future, but these kids were breaking down at the notion of what they could do to stop abortion....completely!  I guess I don't understand the idea that because the parents of these kids think that as Christian adults they haven't had any success, so now it needs to fall on their children's shoulders.   I know that not all Christians are brought up to worship in this way, and it is a Fundamentalist way of worship...but it kinda freaked me out!  I mean these same kids in the next scene were so normal, and extremely mature for their age!  So humbled and innocent in their love for God.  I really don't know...all in all it was a disappointing documentary, and sadly eye opening!!

mY tRiP tO nYc In PhOtOgRaPhS...xo

It's tiny, but this was the view from our hotel room! AMAZING!

The Natural History Museum! You can't tell, but we are in Africa!

This is where I decided I should live when I move to New York...I really didn't want to come home! I was googling NYC apartments from my ipod the whole time I was there!

My beautiful sis, and an amazing waterfall!

LeAd Me To ThE cRoSs...

So now that school has started, so have my sorority meetings!  I am in a christian sorority...and God tests me every semester that we come back!  Each semester I am challenged with the task of making new connections with new girls!  All my friends go inactive over summer due to busy school schedule's and work...I know this is not the reason I am in this sorority.  I joined initially to strengthen my relationship with him, and yet I find myself stressing about all the wrong things.  I have grown amazingly because of this organization, spiritually and mentally.  My family is not overly religious, so I never really had that growing up.  Yes, we went to church, but we didn't really talk about anything other than the hour we spent in our weekly services.  And that is when we went...it was never a regular thing.  I have a huge issue listening to God.  So often I feel like he is pushing me in directions I am not equipped to go in.  "I hear you God, but what I think you want me to do is this instead...."  I cannot differentiate between what I feel like I should lift up to him, and what I think I know is best for me.  I can't let go.  I let what other people think dictate a lot of what I do!  I hate that about myself so much!  I don't know where it comes from.  I am incredibly independent and I have a severe weakness in that aspect of self-judgement.  I genuinely analyze how my actions may affect other people in my life.  I don't ask opinions of my friends anymore in most cases, because if I hear a negative suggestion about something I am really positive about....I cant get it out of my head.  I will be totally compassionate about something...as soon as I hear something even remotely negative..it consumes my interpretation of what I am thinking.  I shame myself into what I think I should be doing in my life.  It is so weak.  I over analyze and lie to myself.  I know God is relentless and he continually brings me back to these issues, but I still cant seem to let go.  I pray constantly that soon I will be ready to admit defeat and let go of whatever is causing me to hold on to what I know is not my path.  It's in incredibly scary thing...not knowing how things will end up...where they are going...

"Certain thoughts are prayers.  There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees".~ Victor Hugo