Who Knew Playing Teacher Would Lead To This!

     Welp, student teaching is off to a fantastic start.  I LOVE IT.  I mean, I didnt have any question that I would.  For once, I am sure of something in my life...and for me there is no other place than with these kids.  I'm loving the unlimited access to butcher paper and dye cutters.  The laminating machine is like a shrine to all the wonderful file folder games I'm creating, most likely to be un-usable after one year of teaching...and still, i.love.it. These kids are falling at my feet for hugs and finding gold in a freshly sharpened pencil from my desk.  I asked one little boy to at least stay in line if he was going to dance on the way to class pictures.  His response?  

Student:  "Oh you fancy huh?  Oh you fancy huh?"  

Me:  I mean I'm kind of dressed up I guess?  It's picture day!  You're supposed to be fancy.  Right? 

Student: "Nail done, hair done, everything did..."

     He just kept saying it over and over again, and finally when he started popping the collar of his shirt, it all clicked.  He was singing Drake's new song Fancy.  My nails and hair were done, so you can understand why I was confused...oh and he's six!  Ahh the little things.

    On Friday we had a school wide assembly to kick of a fundraiser we're starting next week, and there was a surprise performance from the 5th grade girls talent group...appropriately named 'The Superstars'. They sang Ke$ha's Tik Tok, only they brush their teeth with a bottle of water, not Jack.  And they arent trying to get tipsy, just a little crazy.  As for the dudes?  They are still lining up because these girls have swagger, but they kick them to the curb unless they look like Justin Bieber.  A song after my own heart.  They had neon hair extensions and Kanye West stunner shades to complete their performance.  Awesome Friday.  That's about all I have for now.  But if you're needing a little pick me up...my.new.favorite.song.

Much Love, 

a

Stripped.

That's what it honestly feels like. Stripped of sleep.  A relaxing weekend with my family.  All peace of mind.
 Vulnerable and oddly sensitive I've gone through every emotion imaginable this week.  Truth be told, I'm having a really hard time.  I can't help but wonder why God thinks we are strong enough to go through all of this a second time.  I can't help but feel defeated, and frustrated.  I can't help but feel this second diagnosis takes away from 'the perfect match' that my stem cells were supposed to be.  I'm weakly questioning everything I know and believe.  I know this is a test of my faith, but I'll tell you, going through this so blindly is a test of every ounce of my being.  I know the relationship I have with God, (a strong one I feel), but even that isnt answering all that I have questions for right now.  And what does that say?!  A whole different can of worms.
     There are no definitive answers, which means there is no comfort.  Just a need to lean on all that I believe is right in my heart.  I pray that I've made known what Ashley does for my life and everyone she comes into contact with.  I'm not worried about her ability to beat this cancer, because she's done that, and that she will do again.  I pray that I can be some version of strength for her,when it gets hard. She is far stronger than this cancer could ever be, and she proved that within the first hour of her diagnosis the first time.  She is stronger than my whole family combined.  Stronger than I'll ever be, in every sense of the word. 
  So here is what I have so far:
  Someone out there hasnt heard Ashley's story, someone that really needs it.  Although to most she is beautifully shy, she is infact the funniest person you will ever meet, and not so shy!  She often laughs at her own jokes...much before anyone else.  And I love her for it.  She can laugh at life, and find pleasure in the little things.  (Probably the only person who after a month of being sick in the hospital post stem cell transplant, and a virtual inability to eat could say: " I'm so skinny!  Ehh, this month hasnt been sooo bad!").  Perhaps God is needing to give us fresh perspective for something we've missed, and if that is the case, I'm ready and open to learn.  A new perspective for the amazing nurse and mentor she is going to become. 
     If not perspective, then this will just round 2010 out as the worst year of my life...and for those of you that know all the circumstances aside from cancer that have surrounded my family this year, you can understand.  This is fine...BECAUSE STARTING 2011 AND BASICALLY THE REST OF OUR LIVES OUT WITH A HEALTHY SISTER, WHO IS LEUKEMIA FREE...IS BLESSING ENOUGH FOR ME!  I LOVE YOU ASH, AND YOU'VE GOT THIS!

Much Love,
a

I'll Be A Cool Kid One Day...Just Not Today.

     And so it seems, I can fly alone.  I had my doubts... but I maneuvered the airport like a champ.  Aside from my developing ADD, I somehow made my connecting flight in Dallas, despite having to stop at four different arrival/departure screens to check my connecting gate... and two rounds on the tram.  Minor complications.  You know what's funny about flying alone?  I find that I am way more interested in what other people are doing, than I normally would be.  I finished all three of my magazines waiting for my delayed flight to arrive, which meant I had no game plan for entertainment once the flight actually arrived.  So I did what I do best, and I opted for some people watching. (I know that sounds creepy... ehh, I'm not bothered).
     Ahhh to be in love and flying together.  The couple next to me cuddled like they were curling up on their living room couch, with a fresh copy of The Notebook from Red Box.  Never mind the awkward smallness of our plane, of the stationary arm rest in between them... nope, they were right at home.  I wanted to take a picture, but I quickly decided this was probably inappropriate and not proper people watching etiquette.  Entertaining, nonetheless.
     Two seats in front of me... cutest family ever... and they had a baby.  I smiled when they sat down, but they had no clue of the internal struggle that was ensuing as their precious baby began to get restless mid flight.  'Smile and stare?'  'ask to hold baby?'  'don't ask to hold baby?'  'just make funny faces at baby when Dad isn't looking?'...
I opted for smiling and staring... and then when baby and I were seemingly having a staring contest amongst his giggles, the Dad caught on.  I awkwardly muttered 'he's happy!'... haha ... duh.
  Flight number two I was delightfully stuck between an eight and six year old.  Seriously...could you have better seat partners?!  I think not, by the end of that flight...they might not have agreed.  My friend Pace built a 3D Lego pirate ship that he was far too proud to disassemble for our flight.  Instead he boxed it up and covered  every inch of the box with duct tape for safe keeping.  You can imagine his dismay when I tried to help him safely store said ship under the seat in front of him, and managed to break the mast.  Who would've guessed all that duct tape wouldn't serve its purpose?!  Amber: Strike One.  Strike Two came when I told him he could use my arm rest to take a nap.  I guess leaning on a total stranger to sleep is a little weird, even if you are only eight.  His brother refused to share his...and he was really tired!  I'm really a pretty accommodating seat partner... if you allow.  He wasn't quite sure:)  Strike Three:  I threw away his empty plastic cup when the stewardess came around.  He was probably planning on using that as a new mast for the pirate ship I already broke...
Either way, I made it home.  I finished the night with the big kids at Happy Hour at Eddie V's.
Savannah was absolutely beautiful,  but most definitely happy to be home.

Much Love,
a

Summer This, Summer That...

     A day off.  Lovely.  I planned on starting by sleeping in.  The sun, my tangled sheets, and my stupid pillow had other plans.  7:00am...wide awake.  Can I just say that there is nothing more unsatisfying than waking up before your alarm and having ample time to turn off  three pre-set alarms.  Strike One for the day.
     Fine.  Whatever.  I'll get up.  Shower...and because I was up so early, there was time for a small concert series.  This was nice:)  Getting dressed today was no walk in the park either.  It should have been a comfy t-shirt day...but it was not.  Mostly because I am not really a comfy t-shirt sort-of-girl.  I'd like to be...but I haven't gotten there yet.  I tried on my whole closet...twice.  Instead of sleeping in tangled sheets tonight, I'll be using a pullover for a pillow, and a blanket made out of draped tank tops.  I finally settled on jeans and a ruffled tank...which I later regretted, as I was walking through the mall with my bosses baby, and my strapless bra on display...she felt my shirt served better purpose as a toy! Ehhh, Strike Two.
     I was walking past Abercrombie & Fitch...and honestly, the cologne billowing from the stores entrance was almost unbearable, that and the fact that I was probably going to be the only person over the age of seventeen, but I'm an adventurous girl, so I ventured in anyway.  I circled one rack...laughed at my presence in the store, and left.  There is just something not super appealing about wearing a shirt that says 'Who Needs Brains When You Have These...'  At seventeen I might of laughed and considered...at twenty-three, I still laugh... but seriously Abercrombie?  I was offered a job at an Abercrombie once, and at the time I was certain it was going to be my leap into the fashion circuit.  Of course I would have started as a cashier, maybe a greeter...and then I'd likely make my move to Model/Official Spokesperson(this is where I'd put the 'I'm kidding, haha'...except that at 15, I thought I was being discovered.)  In hindsight, it could have been that I was most likely wearing their clothes head to toe.  But I'm sure I flattered myself into thinking that they wanted me to work their because of my great fashion sense and gracious people skills...
     I think strike three came when I was trying to put  baby to sleep.  Mainly because as I was pushing baby through the mall, I could feel the glares and quick glances at my ring-less left finger.  I cut my losses here, smiled, and said 'Come on love, let's go find Daddy', and resorted to rocking baby inside the store, while her mom shopped some.
  Revelation of the day:  I could most definitely be content with a career as a nanny.  A calling of sorts...  So much fun, and I don't even get paid to play with this little one.
     What I love about summer is that despite the repetitive school...work...school...work schedule, is that it is still summer, and I can't be anything but content with where I am at.  Life is good, healthy, and full of lovely people.
xoxo a

For A Young Girl Of Twenty Three...I'm Quite Opptimistic You See...

     It's officially the first day of summer. Which really has no real relevance to my life as I've been out of school for a month and a half now...oh, except that I started summer school three weeks ago...so summer...ehh? No real comprehension of the actual meaning of the word. But anyhow...being that swimsuit days are imminent since I've been wearing one for the better part of a month...I decided tonight was the night I jump start my 'I'm Going To Look Like A Victoria Secret Model...Even If I Have To Stop Eating...Forever...Diet' diet plan. One Problem: I have no will power when it comes to working out...and I have an addiction to Diet Coke. Today though, given the day...I made a compromise...I spent an extra dollar on my 12-pack and bought Diet Coke plus Vitamins and Minerals! Who knew?! I also went for a jog...and my thought process went a little something like this...

Five Minutes In: "Alright! This isn't so bad...you've got this!..."
...music up please! Born and raised in the U.S.A...by the way of New Orleans...
(this was me opptimistically singing Lil Wayne becuase I was still feeling AWESOME!)

     Seven Minutes In: And I'm over it. My Ipod keeps falling out of my sports bra (only legit runners have cool armbands...I'm far from legit as you will see)...I'm getting tangled in my headphones...with every step that I run...my Ipod thinks this is a fun way to shuffle all that I am trying to listen too...I do not.

     Ten Minutes In: Run to the stop sign...Run to the stop sign!" Cool down lap! except that I see headlights up ahead..."And we're jogging again..." No worries. I am that runner... I have no shame. I'm oddly faster and more coordinated in the presence of other people or random passing cars. Uh huh, cool, I know.

     Twenty Minutes In...I think: (my vision was blurred I'm sure..;)
"Amber...you have to keep going...it's 10:30...at night. No one will find you until the morning if you die here..."

Conclusion: I still hate running...

So, all in all...I am a work in progress! Did I mention that I've def. been scoping out a five mile course I came up with few days ago? Clearly I'm going to be working my way up to that it seems.

Not Signing Up For Any 10k's Soon,
xoxo a

Questions I'll Die Trying To Answer.chapter six.

      There was once a time when I idolized this movie.  And by idolized, I mean, I wished, I longed, I believed that I could have been cast in Kate Hudson's place.  Little does Hollywood know...their next big star resides here in the great state of Texas.  Witty, single, twenty-something?  Romantic Comedy? I  mean please, I'd call that more of an autobiographical piece.   Okay, Okay, just kidding.  I'm pretty sure that any girl under the age of thirty would agree that there is a way to parallel every song we sing, every movie we see, ...to our lives in some way.  And yes, I say parallel in hopes that I'm not the only one, although  I'm really probably pretending that my life is totally the same thoroughout the whole movie.  Songs on the other hand...I dont know how, but someone out there is shopping my life story to various artists, and they are choosing to use me and my daily encounters as inspiration for material.  Its really very flattering.  So today I was going through some of my playlists, specifically,  'Soundtrack To My Life' and 'Everyone's In Love But Me...', and it sparked my current epihany!  Well, that and an honest, eye opening, 'I am not crazy, am I?' conversation with a friend...
I AM NOT TOO PICKY . How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days...you're not helping me.  How am I supposed to lose a guy in ten days, if I can't even find one that is open to any emotional attatchment?  Anything other than a proper face to face conversation does not qualify as one on one time...a text is not the same as a phone call...and I know it is all about the chase...and you have to keep up some sort of hard exterior, but could you chase me a little to keep it even?  I
Not to mention that ten days is a freaking world record in terms of losing a guy...any mention of a possible commitment, and all bets are off.    I know your judgements are already forming...but hold off for a sec.  I will fully admit to my own commitment issues.  And although, I think I am painfully obvious in shedding light on my attraction to you...the truth is, I am not.  That half smile I just gave you...yeah, that was me telling you I am in love, oh, and I have been.  In my eyes, this past six months of texting banter...a full blown relationship;)  You feel the same way right?  So later, when I'm upset, it's because I'm really hearbroken you didnt understand that's what this was...haha.  For loving writing as I do, I am terrible at verbally expressing how I feel, so I'm just going to need you to go ahead and figure me out.  Mkay? Thanks.  I also don't think most guys are willing to put in any effort beyond that to see what could develop, and honestly I don't know that I blame them.:)   Or perhaps it's just most guys I am attracted to.  In which case, I say...lame. lame. lame.  So, Reason # 894 I am,  and continue to be very, VERY, single.  That, and probably this blog, if I am being completely honest...
much love,
a

And So It Is...

     I am the most un-coordinated you will find, I've known for awhile.  But today I felt the need to put it on display for oh...everyone.  Trip on my way to class.  Check.  So naturally, when I finally arrived to class late, and with all of my hair blown in front of my face thanks to this 'Are we in Chicago...no, still Texas' weather...I thought it would be a good idea to put my bag next to my chair instead of behind it as usual.  Not so my friends.  Not so.  Fast forward to a 36-slide powerpoint (that my professor decided to 'just read') later...and I stepped on it, wrapped my leg in a strap, and had one of those slow motion, there's nothing I can do now, I hate my life, this is sooooo embarrassing, hi, yes, I am falling right now, catch me?' moments.  Ugh.

Dear week, it's Tuesday.  Not Monday, Not Friday the 13th, just Tuesday.  Get with it already, okay?  So I sat there for another 45 minutes after that, probably bright red, but mostly just worried that I also stepped on my Iphone in my stupid bag.  Stupid bag? yes.  Stupid bag that broke my phone?  Not today, and thank goodness!  It has not been a good few weeks, although, I am totally still loving my rental car!  Getting in the wreck...sucked...and it was scary.  I find myself increasingly aware of stupid driver's now...almost too aware.  I kind of feel the need to write down all license plates, so when they just drive away after hitting me...I'll have them.  Not to mention that anything over 70 in the fast lane...not acceptable anymore.  I know, uncharacteristic for my race car like driving ways...but after spinning out five times, on the free way, with cars driving at me....suddenly, despite it not being my fault...its just not worth it.  Stepping off my soap box....now.
So I have the most awesome job ever!  What did I do today?
Oh...just created some life size Alice in Wonderland playing cards.  No big deal.  Mind you, I'm currently not certified, and therefore cannot be paid for this job...but who cares!  It's way too awesome to care!:)

Devin...(who is super quiet and rarely speaks) walked into class and after seeing this:

Exclaimed this: "Miss Henley you are so crative!( I'm assuming this is his version of the word 'creative')  This is just like the book...you are very efficient!"


Funny that he couldn't say the word creative right, but efficient...no worries.  LOVE it!   So, all in all...Wednesday was a good day!  I got to craft all morning...in heels though...bad idea.  But the finished product was a hit!  Let me tell you, these kids do not miss a beat, and after loving this little number, they also quickly began to notice all that was un-finished with all of my other 'playing card gaurds' that were hanging around the room.  "He doesnt have any hands or feet yet...."  "That one needs a head..."  Fun times.
     Easter weekend was awesome!  Pictures to come:)  I may be 23, but my Dad definitely sent me on a scavenger hunt through the house for clues to a huge prize!:)  There was a $1 bill in each egg!  So I went home with $10...and....wait for it.....$50 to one of my favorite stores! Super cute, super fun!  Always thinking that Dad of mine!  My favorite clue?

'When you are hungry and need something to eat, look inside this for some lunch...______'  haha, so clever too.

     What a weekend it has been.  I am exhausted, which is why I've decided to forgo all class related activities for the evening and just relax.  We had our benefit garage sale, and it was so amazing!  We raised about $2300 for our friends Dad.  Super awesome!

This is my friend Kristen...

She likes fire trucks...what can I say. ;) Love you Kk!

I fell asleep today...at 5:00 this afternoon...and if it didnt sound like my neighbors were building a spaceship in their backyard...maybe two....I probably could have called it a night.  So now I'm off to work to finish payroll for my boss...and then I plan on hanging out with my new bff Aubrey...

CUTEST. BABY. EVER.

Much Love, 
xoxo a

     

All A Blur...

      It's been a good week, but thank God it is over.  Well, almost over.  Last week I was taking naps outside, and just enjoying it all!  Fast forward to this week, and  my procrastinating ways are finally catching up with me, and I find that it is becoming increasingly difficult to procrastinate as I want to all while maintaining the amount of sleep  I want to.  My family probably thinks Im getting mono, I have no energy by the time I get home.  Kindergartners wear you out!  But seriously, so entertaining!  Today, Abigail asked me "Whose Mommy I was?"  I'm still trying to decide how I want to take that.  Complimentary that she could see me as someone's Mommy, or sad that she thinks I look like someone's Mommy.  I'm just going to assume that it's default stereotyping as at five I would also assume anyone taller than four feet was a parent too.  I am convinced that she is going to go into fashion, as she is fascinated will everything I wear.  "Ms. Henley...I love your hair!"  And she already goes for the bargain, which is good to learn early!  You can escape the credit card debt later on..."I love that bracelet! (note: she is probably in the process of taking it off my wrist as she tells me this) I'm going to have it, okay?"  The boys are fun too.   Jude spends all day telling me, "Shouting Courtesy Isn't Showing Courtesy!" and while they aren't shy about letting me know when they aren't happy...(like when I put Oscar's chair up for him...bad idea) they hug me in random passing, and they light up when I walk in the room.  I love them!
   Work has been rather slow...except for today.  PSA for all you pet owners...if you are going to have skiddish dogs, and leave them at home alone...

1. Get an adequate fence so I dont have to interrupt 'Shadow' and 'Peanut's' adventure through the neighborhood.

2.  If you are going to leave them at home to embark on adventures of these sorts...put tags on their collars so I can call you and tell you I have them.

  To the man whose yard I returned said pets too...if they arent yours, I am sorry.  They acted as if your yard was 'home'. 
     This week I also discovered that I have a problem.   I can justify anything.  You name it, and I'll come up with a pretty legitimate reason as to why I need it, want it, bought it...or didnt do it.  Everytime.  Case in point:  my guitar.  I begged, pleaded, hinted....as to why I HAD to have one.  Rising singer/songwriter was not reason enough for my parents...sheesh...what do they know?(I have quite a collection of songs I've penned over the years, and if youre lucky...and I've had some red wine, I might even sing one to you)  To my parents I was somehow convincing nonetheless, and...five years later it is still sitting in the corner of my room, with a broken string.  Sadly,  the broken string isnt even my doing.  So there it sits, except when on rare occasion I feel the urge to convincingly strum along, usually while something else is playing in the background, as my playing seems to sound so much nicer in the company of other instruments.  All this, and you think I would accept defeat?  No no.  I may have spent an undisclosed amount of time on the computer today convincing myself that I needed a new, much fancier, RED GUITAR!  If that doesnt say 'Rockstar'....well then, I just dont know what does.

       Tip of the Week:  Ray Lamontagne's 'Trouble' as a song starter on Pandora is sweet sweet bliss for the soul...just saying.