A Day In The Life...

Pandora.
I just discovered a new love for the website! I mean I've dabbled on there before, but the other day, I must have mistakenly typed in 'Soundtrack To My Life'...because I'm pretty sure that is what was playing. Awesome.
Tyrone Wells.
On that note, if you haven't heard of him...you should download it ASAP. Amazingly talented. I love love his voice! He's right up there with my good friends Amos Lee and Ray LaMontagne!:)
School.
So I don't know if I ever officially said, but I am done with school for the summer! I'm ecstatic, and I made the Dean's List! So so exciting! It was a good semester, but I am glad it is over! I will say, I did have one of the most amazing professor's ever! You know how there are just those teacher's you know you are going to remember forever? Well, he is one of them for sure! Just amazingly awesome at showing what it is to be a good teacher, and showing what it is to love your job! I learned a lot.
Weddings and Such.
Brit's wedding is just a few weeks away! I'm getting so excited! It's so crazy! I realize this is the age that I'm at, but all of my friends are growing up! My best friend just told me last weekend that she is pregnant! So exciting! She is going be an amazing mother, and I'm so happy for her! I've been asking for someone to have a baby forever now!
Odd Things.
So I've recently had a small obsession similar to that of a sixty year old woman! I don't know why, and I have yet to come up with a decent explanation for my new found interest...but, I kind of love bird things! haha, hair clips, necklaces, rings, headbands, t-shirts...I mean if it has a sparrow on it...I probably want it! My sister has been making fun of me for two weeks now, and I can't say that I blame her.
Catching Up.
So I finally caved in to the pressure. I've made dr. appointments at basically every doctor I have been avoiding for the last year. I am not one of those people plagued with fear of doctors offices or anything like that, I just hate the inconvenience of taking off work! I work 7 days a week, if I'm not doing that, I'm usually in school! This does not leave a lot of time. So for the last year, I've just opted for not going! Well now my dr.s are calling me! So I'm taking the high road and getting it all taken care of!:) And it feels good.
Homeless Friends.
I was making my usual commute to the hospital yesterday, and I met a nice homeless man. I was just planning on giving him my $5 and rolling my window back up, but he wanted to chat...so I obliged. He was nice, and full of compliments! I mean I want to think he just genuinely thought I had beautiful eyes, and a "Kodak smile", but I think the $5 may have had something to do with his complimentary nature:) I will say, on my way to the hospital today, all I could think about was what I wanted to give him! "Hmmm, I only have $3 cash, so...I'll give him that and my Pepsi and my dinner..., I can get something else later..." sadly, my friend wasn't there! So until next time!
Alright kids, I'm tired, and ready for some music and then some sleep!
Much Love,
a

Donate Bone Marrow...Check! All Done!

This is my beautiful twin sis, if you can't tell~ So yesterday was the big day! My part of the bone marrow collection process is complete! Now all that's left is for Ash to get my stem cells in July, and ideally, that will be her cure. I'm so excited! I finished my four day of shots and achy bones, and finally had the five hour collection process yesterday! All in all, not so bad! In fact, I'm a little embarrassed that I was so nervous. The 'metal rod' I was under the impression they were inserting into my arm...really turned out to be large metal needle, but def. not a rod. I'm still not aware of the point of the lidocane, bc you can def. feel all the needles after that point, but still not so bad. Other than some minor tingling bc of a lack of Calcium, all went smoothly! I spent the rest of yesterday sleeping, and I'm feeling pretty good today. Thank you so much for all the prayers, and if you want to keep updated with her progress you can @ this website!:
caringbridge.com/visit/ashleyhenley

Thanks loves,
a

Eight By Eight...I Know...You've Been Waiting Right?!:)

8x8

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. My sister being cured of this Leukemia
2. Summer Summer Summer
3. Laying out by the pool
4. Britni's Wedding
5. All my friends coming home
6. A vacation I have yet to plan
7. Going back to Phi Lamb
8. Dancing The Night Away

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Showered
2. Worked
3. Bathed a vicious German shepherd at work...but seriously, I'm like the dog whisperer...she didn't even try and eat me. She tried to eat our groomer.
4. I took a nap. Can we talk about the last time I took a nap...oh so nice.
5. On that note, I woke up every hour on the hour...1am, 2am...you get the idea.
6. I joined Pandora. I was really trying to resist, but I'm a lover of music, what can I say?
7. Relay for Life w/ my sis
8. Got to see Clayton! I love that kid!

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. Move in to the hustle and bustle of a beautiful city.
2. Write A Book.
3. Go On A Blind Date.
4. Travel.
5. Pursue All The Things I Wish I Could Be Doing Right Now. Most Of Them Not Practical.
6. Rent A Small Beach House In Somewhere.
7. Go Inside All The Pretty Houses I See And Wish I Could Live In. I Really Think There Should Be 1 Day A Year When This Can Happen.
8. Say What's On My Mind Exactly When I'm Thinking It.

8 Favorite Fruits:

1. Mango
2. Strawberries
3. Cantaloupe
4. Raspberry
5. Apple
6. Peach
7. Lime
8. Orange

8 Places I Wish I Could Travel:

1. Greece
2. Italy
3. Ireland
4. Africa
5. New York..Again
6. Georgia
7. Seattle...Again and Again.I.Love.Seattle.
8. Maine
(I realize the last five aren't very exciting, but for some reason or another, I feel like those might be my cities. I can pretty much fall in love with anything, and I know I will love them!)

8 Things You Don't Know About Me:

1. I Don't Mind Being By Myself, In fact, Sometimes It's Preferred:)
2. Writing Is My Outlet, I Do It Everyday.
3. I Can't Sleep Until I've Thanked God For My Family.
4. I'm Really Messy, But I Fake Clean When Friends Come Over.
5. I'm Incredibly Self-Conscious, And Yet, I Wish I Didn't Care.
6. Famous Songwriter To The Stars Might Be My Dream Job.
7. Recently, I've Decided There Is Something Incredibly Romantic About Never Getting Married. I Mean I'm Not Saying Its For Me...But Just A Thought.
8. I'm Kind Of In Love With The Idea That On A Day To Day Basis I Get To Live My Life. For The Most Part, Its Pretty Awesome.

And It Went A Little Something Like This...Questions I'll Die Trying To Answer.chapter one.

You Want My Number?

It is inevitable. You are attractive, witty, charming...and BAM! My mind goes straight there...could we date, what would we do, hmmm winter or spring wedding? I think yes. Why is it that our minds go to such an extreme. I mean let's be honest, you haven't even noticed me! I am that girl. You know the one. Starbuck's, corner table...I'm staring at you from behind my Carmel macchiato,laptop,oh, and don't forget the huge imaginary wall either. A brick of fear, insecurity, humiliation, throw in some self-doubt and you've got yourself one sturdy wall. As if there is any real relevance to the thoughts running through my head, you can be sure that I've already given you a once over. I'm not sure my family will be thrilled about your arm of tattoos, but I think they are fun so we'll just go with it for now. We'll probably go hiking, you look like the outdoorsy type. I went camping once, and I didn't hate it, so I think we will be fine. There are normal bathrooms right?... You have good hair too, taller than me, check. The barista will be done grinding your coffee beans soon, and we've made awkward eye contact two or three times now...so in case you forgot, this is the part where you want to ask for my number. I mean I know it is a 'new age', but seriously, what happened to chivalry? Yes, I could ask for yours, except that I'm pretty sure it would go a little something like this...
"So..." (long pause)"...original blend...""mmmm...good choice." (pause, nervous hair flip) "Do you drink a lot of coffee?"...."Yeah, me too"...(fidget, fidget, fidget)"You know, a lot of these tables have two chairs...which is good if you have a bag or something...(haha, awkward nervous laugh)..."Or a person I guess, I mean, I don't though..maybe we could drink coffee at the same time.....I mean together sometime...I mean if you wanted to or something...".sigh. And this is probably where the extreme embarrassment and self-ridicule would begin to set in. Not to mention the rejection. You know that saying, "You are your own worst enemy...". I think I've made it my personal vendetta to prove this saying true, and the awkward embarrassment, well I just throw that in there to guarantee a little laugh at myself later. While I entertain my time with thoughts of how my life will be with him, Hot Tattoo Boy has gotten his coffee, paid, and started backing his Tahoe out of the packed Starbuck's parking lot. What is so intriguing about complete and utter public humiliation? Granted, constantly sitting alone is kind of embarrassing in itself,but the rejection that is sure to follow my split second of confidence; definitely exceeds the gain. So, I'll just sit here and sip my coffee instead.
Alright, alright, I may be slightly dramatic, and I'm probably not that socially awkward, in fact, I know I'm not...but Hot Tattoo Boy may beg to differ. Perhaps it is that I am too picky. This is what my mother will tell you. I don't think having standards is being too picky. And by standards, I don't mean unattainable standards. I don't think it is asking too much to meet someone with life goals that go beyond the span of one weekend. And games were fun when I was twelve...not so much anymore. Scrabble, Scattegories, Clue...now, those are all games I play. Player, Cheater, All-Around Man Whore...not someone I want as my teammate in the game of life. I get it. I'm young, have fun. I get it. But why does that have to be at the expense of self-regard? If you like me, tell me you do! Don't answer my questions with a question! And if you honestly feel like I could be your girlfriend, talking to five other girls at the same time confuses me! Mixed signals are never a good thing, because in the end, we probably, totally would have dated. Call it crazy, but I'd like to think that I could make someone amazingly happy, and that someone could quite possibly think so too. Why waste my time with the probably not's, I want to meet Mr. Right, heck, even Mr. Maybe Could Be Right would be just fine! I'm no psychologist, and definitely in no place to give any ounce of advice to be held in high regard. However, I know what I want, and I want what I know. You'd be amazed at what you learn from watching other people. On that note, when did crazy become attractive? Seriously. I've had many people explain this to me because I totally don't get it! I mean really boys. You're telling me that even if a girl is totally crazy, and you recognize it...it's just something you look past? I don't get it. As a sane, completely normal girl, this is just not a revelation I understand. I have friends who I guess for the sake of dating someone, can overlook crazy tendencies. And is there no embarrassment factor for you boys? I will be the first to admit, that I care entirely too much about what others think, and that in part may be why I'm still single. But does dating someone who is just so unlike you, and slightly annoying..not make you a little self-conscious about what your friends REALLY think about her? Here's another one for pondering...why is it that when someone is completely un-available, they are suddenly so attractive! Perhaps it's the sudden realization that now, you really don't have a chance. Or maybe it's just the honest revelation that those feelings were there all along, and you never acted on it...but you should have. What is it about a slightly attractive guy that makes girls just act...and ask ridiculous questions? Things you would never think to question on a regular basis?
The scene: A casual, friendly, dinner date. At this point, you are more interested than him. He's totally oblivious to your feelings, as he is still putting out the friend vibe.
The Scenario: Dinner goes well. Conversation flows pretty well...work, weekends, family. All around nice time. He pays. But probably not because he's interested, just because he is a super nice guy. You end with a nice hug, and a "We should do this again..."
The Aftermath: Now, most would take this to be a possible future good friend. But you, wearing your blinding love goggles, suddenly begin to question every aspect of dinner! "What did he think about what I was wearing?" "Should I have not ordered a drink?"...yes, all silly questions. And yes, all things that cross a girl's mind. Dare I say we over analyze things?
I know what you are saying. Where is the confidence? And I will tell you first hand, that all that goes out the window just as soon as Mr. Right Now throws you a curve ball. You might call it "playing hard to get", but a girl with call it "loss of interest". As soon as that sets in, you can pretty much guess that your girl is second guessing everything about herself and you in the same equation.
I also don't understand this proverbial idea that because I'm twenty-three and single, I'm doomed for a life of solitude. Part of me is choosing to be single. I am not a complete loser, and I do get asked out on rare occasion. Call it shallow, but I want to be attracted to some aspect of you as a person if we are going to venture further than a drink and a date. I'm not just referring to looks here. I can't tell you how many times I've met someone on not necessarily been attracted physically. Personality really is a number one, and if you've got one, and a good one at that, I will become instantly smitten. Things do not have to be complicated. ever. Boy likes girl, boy tells girl, boy dates girl. End of story. All that other bs can be left out!:) Final word to the wise: baby talk is never attractive, unless you are talking to a baby. And even then...why would you want to be attractive to a baby?

A Week Of Revelations...

Wow. Last Semester is just that...last semester. Not without a few recent bumps. I am in the midst of a small battle, but hopefully that will be said and done tomorrow. I can't wait to just breathe.
-I called my Dad yesterday. Randomly. It's so funny to me to see the growing that is happening within myself. This time 5 years ago, I was still a wreck with how I felt about him, about our relationship, his abilities as a father, heck...even just his abilities as a person. My whole view of him all came to a head at a defining point in my life, and I honestly didn't know how I wanted our relationship to be...or if I even wanted one. If you are confused, you can brush up on all that is my life with this past post! So I called him. We've talked briefly off and on these past few months with all that is going on with Ash. He himself is going through a hard time with his wife. Through out our 10 minute conversation, I felt so bad for him. He desperately needs a hug, a friend. And then it just hit me. A daughter. He needs a daughter who can listen, and be all those things. He has hardly been a father to me in my 22 years, but I know he loves me, and he did give me five amazing years as a little girl, because I remember them. As I sat there listening to the uncertainty in his voice, I just felt this overwhelming need to say "Its going to be alright, and I love you." The last thing he needs is to feel guilt about our relationship. I'm okay. I wouldn't have my life any other way. My Step-Father is the most amazing man ever! So with that, I've decided if calling him once a week will brighten his days even slightly, than that's what I will do. Even if we have awkward conversation about doing the dishes and what is going on in Good ol' California..
-I bought the most amazing book last night. I literally have read two pages. This book is after my own heart, and I feel like if I would ever take the time to write the novel that is inside of me...this would be it! That being said, I think I am going to start writing said novel. I mean, I realize no one cares, but it will be for me. And I'll think it is witty and fun, and that will be fine:)
-I get paid tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I worked 90hrs @ job number 1 this week. I'm exhausted. EXXXHHHAAAUUSSTED.
On that note, I feel like I could be more exhausted, and so begins the 'Extreme Summer, I'm in a wedding in a month, It is time, ....WORKOUT!' .yeah. ugh. First of all, I would be more excited about this if I had a fun work out partner, and maybe a fun work out trainer! I get bored, and I need structure. That I'm going to work on...
-So I start all my Bone Marrow Stuff on Thursday~! I have shots of nupogen on Thurs, Fri, Sat, and Sun! Basically they are going to make me way overly produce my bone marrow, so much so that it pushes out of my bones and into my blood stream. Then Monday, I go in for collection....for six hours. Hooked up to machines for six hours. The nurses did make sure to tell me that they use a lot of lidocane for the process! Yikes! Be praying for that! I'm no nurse, and I'm postive I spelt all these drugs wrong, but I think that equates to a level of pain I cannot handle on my own! I'm okay with it. I know it will be fine, and the rewards are going to far surpass any amount of pain for sure.
Thanks Loves,
xoxo a
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