To Live What Your Feeling, To Hate What You Feel...

So it had to happen at some point, but my happy high is slowly coming to an end I feel. This week has had me down a bit, and I am not welcoming it at all! I am feeling slightly overwhelmed with life. I can't help but wonder where I would be right now if I were not in school. I know God does not encourage envy, but right now more than ever, do I want to be at a different place in my life. I am so passionate about things, I am just not at a place to pursue! I hate that I feel like school is holding me back, because if I am truly honest with myself(which I rarely am), I know that even when I graduate...whenver that is....I am still not going to be doing what I love. I don't even know that I completely have a grasp on what "that" is, but I know I am not there, and I def. don't know if I am heading in that direction. I hate all of the standards that have been set up for me, and all the expectations that are dictating my life. I would be the happiest person in the world right now, if I only knew that what I am doing now, is in fact right for me. I am needing some new perspective on life, and I'm not sure where to turn to get it. I need you to show me that this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. I know that we have to go through certain trials in order to understand and see the bigger pictures, but right now I am not in a place to interpret signs that I am heading in the right direction. I need you to show me that I have it right....
-Okay so I was clearly feeling a little sorry for myself the other day. I have been down but it's a new day, and a new start! I really hate when I let myself get down about such minimal things, because I really do have so much to be thankful for! I have been listening to this song like over and over againg, and I think it's amazing! Also, shout out to Amber, you might be my only reader, and I am totally okay with that! Your comments always make me feel amazing, and I love love hearing what you have to say! You are awesome!
Ingram Hill- Troubled Mercy

Mercy fights a little war again
Always the one that tried so hard, but she couldnt win
TO LIVE WHAT YOUR FEELING, TO HATE WHAT YOU FEEL
NO ONE SHOULD LIVE THIS WAY
That's all over, its all over now

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you troubled Mercy

Mercy tried to make things right again
But the dark is where she hides to cradle the sin
Hard to know what is real when you beg and you steal
But you dont want to be this way
That's all over, it's all over now

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you troubled Mercy

Your innocence is gone
You don't know where you lost it
Well somehow it all went wrong
But it wont last long

You never thought that you could feel this
Forever lonely was a better way
Youll make this world to fall apart
But you're more than you thought you could be
I wont leave you Mercy
I wont leave you Troubled Mercy